Trying To Break Breakfast

| USA | Right | October 7, 2015

(I work the very early morning shift. Breakfast time is not for another three hours, so I take a bagel and stick it in the toaster for my breakfast. Then I go to the back to cook. When I return, my bagel is gone and there a young man in his 20s with crumbs all over his smiling mouth.)

Young Man: “Hello!”

Me: “Good morning.” *looking everywhere* “Where is my bagel?”

Young Man: “Oh, I ate it.”

Me: “…”

(I’m struggling to keep my temper at someone who might be staying as a guest, so I can’t talk for a few moments. Meanwhile the man keeps smiling foolishly.)

Me: “I see… Do you always eat food that isn’t yours? That was my bagel.”

Young Man: “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know it was yours. I just thought someone had left and forgotten about it. I’m really sorry.”

Me: “Ok… I accept.”

(I continue my job.)

Young Man: “Can I have another?”

Me: “No… breakfast isn’t until three hours. You’ll have to wait.”

Young Man: “This is about me eating your bagel, right? I already said sorry. Now please, I want another! I can’t help it. I’m hungry!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to follow the rules. And they say no breakfast served until [time].”

(He continued to pester me, both pleading and apologizing, until he finally stormed off. Turned out, he wasn’t even staying there as a guest!)

In Receipt Of Bad Instructions

| USA | Working | October 6, 2015

(My manager is very nice, but either doesn’t know how to run a hotel or has never worked in one. He’s completely clueless. One day, he’s training me, a new hire.)

Manager: “Okay, so at 3:00 you have to print out the customers’ receipts, and then leave the desk and go up the elevator and deliver them by pushing them under each door.”

Me: “I have to deliver them? I will be working by myself, right?”

Manager: “Yes, you’ll be alone.”

Me: *fretting* “But, what if the phone rings or the customer comes down and I’m not there?”

Manager: “Don’t worry, that rarely happens. Just do what I say, ok?”

Me: “Okaaay.”

(Everything goes well for a few weeks, and then it happens: I’m away delivering the receipts, and a customer calls and calls the desk. Getting no answer, he goes to the desk, only to find no one. When I get back, he yells at me. Then he complains to the manager, who calls me over the next day.)

Manager: “You’ve gotten a complaint. This guy called and called last night, and no one answered. The phone must be answered.”

Me: “I was away delivering the receipts.”

Manager: “I know, but I HAVE to write you up. Sign this.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Manager: “It’s ok. It rarely happens.”

(I started looking for another job the following day. Managers may need to be nice, but they need to know how to do their job, too!)

Incontinent Compliment

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Related | October 4, 2015

(My brother, sister-in-law, and their two kids are on vacation. They have got a Kinder-Egg for each of the kids but the kids have to wait to have them. My nephew, who is five, wants his egg…)

Sister-In-Law: “You can have your egg but only if you give your daddy a complement.”

Nephew: *looks confused, thinks hard and says* “South America?”

If I Had A Gold Coin For Every Odd Customer

| Aurora, CO, USA | Right | October 2, 2015

(I am on the phone…)

Me: “…so I’m sending you an email confirmation of this reservation. Would you like the confirmation number verbally as well?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I do have one question, though…”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Caller: “I have a clay pot sitting in front of me. It’s about eight inches wide and twelve inches deep.”

Me: “…Yes?”

Caller: “Would you be able to fill it with gold coins?”

Me: *thinking he means gold dollars* “Oh, no, sir. Unfortunately gold coins aren’t something we generally keep at the front desk, but there is a bank located within walking distance where you can exchange for gold dollars.”

Caller: “So you’ll give me a voucher when I get there?”

Me: “Uh… no. You have to exchange your own money for the gold dollars.”

Caller: “Okay. Stay out of trouble!” *click*

Under-wear Me Out

| USA | Right | September 26, 2015

(A guest, an old skinny man, comes down in nothing but boxers. I am female. He’s a long term regular.)

Guest: “Oh… I thought… what happened with that other feller that was here b’fore?”

Me: “He left already. You know, you can’t… um, walk around with nothing on.”

Guest: “I HAVE SOMETHING ON! I’M NOT NEKKID! Oh well, I’d like a wake up call at…” *mumble*

Me: “At when?”

Guest: *suddenly yelling* “AT FAH O’ CLOCK!”

Me: “Five o’ clock?”

Guest: “‘S what I said.”

Me: “Okay.”

Guest: “Well?…You don’t even know which room I’m in?!”

Me: “Room 111 right?”

Guest: *looks dumbstruck* “How…?”

Me: “You stay here every night. I know who you are, Mr. [Name].”

Guest: *nods and wanders off*

(I heard a scream. A young mother and child walking down had seen him, in his underwear.)

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