(I work in a hotel. A man comes up to the desk and gives me his key.)

Me: “Hi, checking out?”

Customer: *smiles* “Yes.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I print out the receipt and give it to him.)

Me: “Thanks for staying, and have a good day!”

Customer: “You, too.”

(The next day, the same man comes up to me and again wordlessly gives me his keys.)

Me: “Hi, checking out?”

Customer: “No, I wanted to extend my stay! And yesterday, I wanted to extend my stay, not check out! That’s why I gave you my keys!”

Me: “Okay…”

(Pro-tip: If you give the clerk your keys and tell them that you want to check out, we will check you out!)

(I work the front desk at what is considered to be one of the more “upscale” hotels in the area. Most people who book with us tend to be on the wealthier end of the financial spectrum, and some are well aware of this fact, to put it kindly. I have just gotten in for my shift at seven am on the fourth of July, and I immediately witness this interaction between a guest and my coworker who has been there since four am.)

Guest: “Do you have any newspapers today?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, we haven’t received any today. We don’t get papers delivered to us on holidays.”

Guest: *in a very frazzled tone* “Well, can I buy one from you? Is that an option?”

Coworker: “Well, no, we unfortunately don’t have any papers anywhere in the hotel today. There are a few places just a block or two away that may be selling newspapers today, though.”

Guest: “This is outrageous! I spend this much money to stay at your hotel and you don’t even give me a newspaper?! It is your patriotic duty to provide me with the news, and you have just failed as an American by not doing this!” *storms away*

(It’s people like this that really make me question the state our society is in. He did, however, becoming the laughing stock of the front desk for a good week or two after, so at least some good news came out of it.)

(I am doing an online/web-call training with my manager and supervisor.  Supervisor is manning the desk and has to leave to answer the front desk phone)

Supervisor:  OMG I just got the dumbest question ever.

Manager:  What Happened?

Supervisor:  Guest is due to checkout and wanted to know if she needed to extend another night if she had to pay for it.

Me:  Let me get this straight, she wants to stay an extra night for free just because she doesn’t want to drive due to the snow that we all knew was coming over 4 days ago.

Supervisor:  Yes, and she got irate when I told her that she had to pay, since she is saying she doesn’t have any extra money.

Manager and Me:  She should have planned ahead better.

(I work the front desk at a hotel. One guest wants to leave early, but is not happy that she will be responsible for the rest of her stay. She has been making random complaints all night, no doubt to try and get a refund for her “awful” stay. This is my favorite complaint from her.)

Me: “Front desk.”

Guest: “The music at the outdoor bar is too loud. No one’s out there anyway, so tell them to turn it off.”

Me: “I will certainly ask them to turn it down for you.

Guest: *getting angry* “You mean to say you can’t TELL them? You have to ASK?”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have the authority to TELL anyone to do anything. Besides, we are not affiliated with that bar. The best I can do is ask them to turn their music down a bit.”

Guest: *laughs at me condescendingly, and spits a few insults before hanging up*

(The best part? The bar wasn’t playing any music.)

(I am a night auditor at a hotel in Nashville that has an ongoing contract with a major national airline to hold rooms for their pilots and flight attendants. This happens while a group of flight attendants is checking in.)

Me: “And just so you know, there is a complimentary breakfast from 6:30 until 9:00 this morning, down here in our lobby.”

Flight Attendant: “Okay, but is there a complimentary breakfast for us??

Me: “Yes, ma’am, there is a complimentary breakfast from 6:30 until 9:00 this morning.”

Flight Attendant: “Yes, but is there a complimentary breakfast for us?”

Me: *more than a little confused, as I’ve just answered her question* “Yes, ma’am. We serve breakfast from 6:30 until 9:00.”

Flight Attendant: “I know, but sometimes, the hotels have a free breakfast. Do you have that?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. As I’ve said, multiple times, we have a complimentary breakfast from 6:30 until 9:00, here in our lobby.”

Flight Attendant: “I don’t like your attitude.”

(She came back down, half an hour later and asked another two times if we serve a complimentary breakfast.)