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Dry Demands

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Transportation

(A guest comes up to the desk with damp hair and a look of fury.)

Me: “Hello, may I help y—“

Guest: “I WAS TRYING TO DRY MY HAIR AND YOUR STUPID HAIR DRYER DOES NOT WORK IN MY ROOM! YOU’RE AN IDIOT AND SO IS THIS HOTEL!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll go fetch you another one.”

Guest: “YOU BETTER! AND HURRY UP, OR I’LL MISS MY FLIGHT! NOW! WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING?”

(I tell the manager to watch the desk while I find her another hair dryer. It takes a long time because all I can find are broken ones. Finally I head up to the desk with a working dryer.)

Guest: *screaming* “MY FLIGHT! MY FLIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOTS!”

Manager: *whispers to me* “Where were you? The lady was getting more and more agitated!”

Me: “I couldn’t find a working one.” *to Guest* “Here you go, ma’am. Again, sorry about that.”

Guest: “YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!” *snatches dryer and goes to dry her hair in the lobby bathrooms*

(She takes a while, and meanwhile I notice something: it’s raining hard outside. She finally comes out and throws the dryer at my manager, which hits the counter. Pieces of dryer fall off and my manager picks it up. She makes a beeline for the door. I also notice she had no umbrella.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait…”

Guest: “WHAT, IDIOT?”

Me: “…Never mind.”

(She throws me a dirty look, stomps outside, and her hair goes from dry to damp again in five seconds. I saw her throw another childish fit in the street! Glad I didn’t have to hear it! All that for nothing.)

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A Taxing Customer, Part 2

| KS, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I work the front desk overnight at a franchise hotel. We give guests receipts underneath their doors the night before their departure. One morning, toward the end of my shift, an irate woman approaches the desk.)

Guest: “What are these extra charges on my receipt?!”

Me: “Hmm, let me bring this up on my computer to check this out… Well, all I see on here is the room charge and tax. Is there more on your copy that I could see?”

Guest: “Yes! There’s two taxes! State, and then this weird one!”

Me: “Oh, the occupancy tax? That is another term for the federal tax. Were you supposed to be tax exempt?”

Guest: “No, but I’ve never paid federal tax before! That’s not supposed to be there!”

Me: “I apologize, but this is just how the tax is set up here. We divide the state and federal, “occupancy” tax, instead of combining them, as they would at a gas station or elsewhere. It’s the same percentage on each, though.”

Guest: “No, this isn’t right. I’m going to have to ask my people.” *storms off*

Me: “…her people? Oh, well, whomever she asks will tell her the same.”

Related:

A Taxing Customer

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When Religion A-tax

| GA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Popular, Religion

(I’m the night auditor/overnight clerk at a random hotel adjacent to the interstate in Georgia. A potential client comes in around one am.)

Customer: “I’d like to rent a room.”

Me: “I have space available. Tonight’s price is [total] plus state and local tax.”

Customer: “I don’t have to pay tax.”

(Customer presents tax exemption form from Florida, naming a church, which exempts church activities from Florida state taxes.)

Me: “Well, I’m not familiar with Florida tax rules, but this doesn’t exempt Georgia taxes. I can’t waive them with this form.”

Customer: “You’re going to Hell.”

Me: “I’ve been through an audit. Hell sounds better. But if you are here on official business, it’s a simple matter to file for a refund in Georgia. I’m afraid that I can’t waive sales and use tax with these forms.”

Customer: “Thou whited sepulcher.”

Me: “Render unto Caesar.”

Customer: “God is going to smite you!”

Me: “I’ll be glad to rent a room to you, at [total] rate, plus tax. If you won’t pay the taxes, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “I don’t pay taxes! God’s people don’t pay taxes! If anyone calls for me, forward my calls to [Hotel across the street, which also collects proper taxes.] Good evening!”

Next Customer In Line: “What do you drink? You dealt with that like someone who drinks after work!”

(The next customer checked in, paid for his room and taxes, and came to the lobby an hour later with a six-pack for me.)

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Alarmingly Good Service

| GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(It is two am at a budget hotel next to a busy interstate. I’ve just booked a tired lady into a room, ensuring that she and her car were near the lobby so that I could keep an eye on a lone woman as she entered the building.)

Me: “Would you like for me to set a wake up alarm for the morning? I can set two, if you’re afraid you’ll go back to sleep.”

Guest: “That would be great. 8:30?”

Me: “Sure! And we serve breakfast and coffee here in the lobby until 9:30. You also have a coffeemaker in your room, if you don’t want to face the world without caffeine. Would you like an extra coffee pod for in-room?”

Guest: “You’re doing this all wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: *with a very tired smile* “I just phoned my husband, telling him where I was, and complaining about dealing with a surly, clueless night clerk. And here you are, being pleasant and helpful; you’re doing this all wrong!”

Me: “I apologize. I’ll be abrasive next time, when you aren’t so tired.”

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Gonna Party Like You’re In Room 1999

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(A young man dressed up like he’s going to a party checks in. After few moments, we get a few noise complaints about people talking loudly and yelling and playing music from his room. It’s one am and the hotel is sold out.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you can’t have this much people in your room. Plus, all your neighbors are complaining.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday!”

Me: “That’s nice, but we can’t have you disturbing others.”

(He nods, but the complaints keep coming.)

Me: “I’m serious; I will have you thrown out if you don’t let others get their sleep. If you want to party, go to a bar or club.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! And all the bars are closed and the clubs are too far from here.”

Me: *fed up* “I don’t care. You must do as I ask or else.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! Plus it was my friend being loud, not me.”

Me: “As payer, you are responsible for your friends.”

(He nodded but didn’t listen. Finally, I told security to throw him out. Too bad he had to be thrown out on his butt on the street on his birthday and out $250. Moral: hotels are not party houses.)

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