You Can’t Be Siri-ous

| Eilat, Israel | Right | June 14, 2016

(I work reception. One day a guest awaiting his turn stares at me and my name tag with a bemused look on his face.)

Guest: “Is your name really “’Siri’?!”

Me: *smiling* “Only for the last 60 years.”

Guest: “The email confirmation was so polite… I was SURE it was the program!”

Ladies Of The Night Plight

| USA | Right | June 14, 2016

(My coworker and I are working late night at our hotel. Around one am, this young woman walks in.)

Coworker: “Hello, may I help?”

Young Woman: “Yes, I need to go to Mr. [Name]’s room. What is his room number?”

(Due to our privacy policy, we cannot give out guest’s room numbers. My coworker tells her this.)

Young Woman: “Well, he just called me, like, 15 minutes ago and told me to come over. Can you call his room?”

Coworker: “Sure, we can do that.”

(He dials the room and there is no answer.)

Young Woman: “Ugh, this is so frustrating! Can you go and knock on his door or something?!”

Coworker: “No, we can’t do that. Does he have a cellphone number you can call?”

Young Woman: “No! I can’t call his cellphone!”

(At this point, we’re wondering if this woman is this guy’s secret mistress or something. According to his reservation, he’s on government-paid business. Finally, my coworker decides to go up to the guy’s room and knock. This is what he said happens.)

Coworker: *finds guy’s room wide open* “Hello? Mr. [Name]?” *sees him passed out on the bed, snoring* “Mr. [Name]! Mr. [Name]!”

(He didn’t respond, so my coworker figured that he was waiting for this young woman, and intentionally left his room open for her. But anyone could’ve walked in and stolen all his stuff! His laptop and wallet were lying in plain sight. People’s stupidity boggles me.)

His Valentine Is Going To Be Pissed

| UT, USA | Right | June 7, 2016

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need a room this weekend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re completely booked this weekend.”

Caller: *annoyed* “Why would you be sold out? That makes no sense.”

Me: “It’s a holiday weekend?”

Caller: “You can’t be serious! Nobody cares about President’s Day!”

Me: “Valentine’s Day as well?”

Caller: “OH, S***, I FORGOT!” *click*

Doctorate In Bread Required

| Barcelona, Spain | Right | June 1, 2016

(I work at a self-service buffet in a hotel. We have these little signs with the name of every dish except the very obvious ones. I am carrying drinks when a middle-aged guest comes to me and points to the bread aisle.)

Guest: “What is this?”

Me: “Emm… bread, sir.”

Guest: “How do I know this is bread? There is no sign at all.”

Me: “Well, it is obviously bread; it looks like bread, after all.”

Guest: “What if I never saw a piece of bread before? How do I know this is actually bread? You can’t expect us all to know that this is bread. Bring me your manager.”

Me: *fetches the manager*

Manager: “Sir, is there something wrong?”

Guest: “Why is there no sign for bread?”

Manager: “Well, it’s obvious that it’s bread.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! You think we all have Oxford doctorates here? And you treat us like fools? That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m filling in a complaint!”

(And he actually did…)

The Benchmark For A Good Deed

, , , | Australia | Hopeless | May 31, 2016

(I’m 19 and on a year-long backpacking trip across Australia. I have an early flight to catch so I think to sleep at the airport rather than spend it paying for a hostel bed. I thought I could check in super early and sleep on carpet or couches but this doesn’t happen since the small airport closes early. I end up sleeping on a hard bench and wake up a lot, scared the security guards will kick me out. On my flight in the morning I exchange pleasantries with the couple I sit beside and we get talking about my travels.)

Me: “I’m really enjoying Australia.” *yawns* “But you’re going to have to forgive me; I slept at the airport last night and I don’t think I can keep my eyes open any longer.”

(I immediately pass out and sleep the whole flight. I wake up shortly before landing.)

Wife: “So…” *turns to me and hands me a $20 bill* “We don’t have much cash on us, but we want to give this to you to pay for a meal or bed for the night! We hope you have a great time here!”

(Over ten years later that sentiment still warms my heart to know there’s such generous and kind people in the world.)

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