(My coworker and I both work overnight, and we are swapping stories.)

Coworker: “So, has any customer acted all crazy with you at night?”

Me: “Let me see… Oh, yeah! Once, it was around midnight, and I heard a loud bang, bang, bang on the glass door, and the customer was trying to put her foot through it!”

Coworker: “That’s it?”

Me: “Well, yeah. I mean, it was scary loud! You never had one like that?”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah, but that’s not scary.”

Me: “Then what’s the scariest thing for you?”

Coworker: “One time a creepy guy was wandering around, staring at me through the window! I called the police!”

Me: “And that’s scarier than someone trying to kick down a door?”

Coworker: “Well, he was a guy, and yours was a girl!”

(We’re both female, but I still think mine was scarier, even if it was a girl. Girls can be scary when violent.)

(It’s 9:30 pm and a lady walks into reception.)

Me: “Good evening. How can I help you?”

Lady: “Hello! I would like a single room for tonight, please.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we only have one family room left tonight.”

Lady: “What? On a Monday, surely not!”

Me: “Yes, I am sorry. You can still have a family room; however, it’s £90.”

Lady: “No, stop being silly. I will have a single room; it’s only me.”

Me: “I am sorry, miss, but as I have already told you, the only room available is a family room.”

Lady: “On a Monday you are full?!”

Me: “Yes. It’s the start of most people’s working week; therefore, we are normally full.”

Lady: “Prove it!”

Me: “Excuse me? How would you like me to prove it?”

Lady: “Well, show me inside the rooms.”

Me: “Miss, please kindly leave!”

(Our hotel is really old, and has never been renovated. Lots of newer, modern hotels have opened close by, and we’re losing money to them. A lot of times people check in, are upset at our lack of modernness, throw a fit, and leave. Like lots of hotels, we have a sales team, and we have a front desk team. I work on the front desk.)

Manager: “[My Name], I want you to watch this training video.”

(I do, and she finds me after.)

Manager: “What did you think?”

Me: *confused* “So, now we have to do the sales team job? And sell rooms when the phone rings?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Me: “Grrrreat.”

(The phone rings and I answer it. It is an older gentleman.)

Caller: “Hello, I want to stay at your hotel, but I want to know how old it is?”

Me: “Thirty years old.”

Caller: “Oh. Has it been renovated?”

Me: “No, never.”

(The caller then asks for another hotel nearby, and I give him the info. The manager has heard everything.)

Manager: “Why didn’t you try to sell him a room?”

Me: “I just told him the truth.”

Manager: “You’re supposed to sell!” *storms off*

(I quit soon after that. The front desk should not be expected to do the sales team jobs. They have enough to do, trust me.)

(At our hotel, we have a snack shop full of food as well as other things, like soaps and brushes.)

Customer: “Do you have a toothbrush?”

Me: “We have toothbrushes to buy. We don’t have them free.”

Customer: “Buy?”

(I show her.)

Me: “Yes, toothbrushes to buy, on the bottom shelf there.”

Customer: “Buy?”

Me: “Yes, buy.”

Customer: “Oh, buy!” *takes brush and leaves without paying*

Me: “…”

Customer: “Can I have an iron?”

Me: “There should be one in your room.”

Customer: “There isn’t!”

Me: “Are you sure? Did you check the closet?”

Customer: “Yes, I did, and there was nothing!”

Me: “Hmm.” *to coworker* “Hey, watch the desk, will you?” *to customer* “Can I go with you to your room and see?”

Customer: “Fine! There’s no iron!”

(We go. I open the closet and there’s an iron in plain view.)

Me: “…”

Customer: “Oh, that closet!” *sees the incredulous look I’m giving him* “Well, I didn’t want to poke around too much! It’s nosy, you know! Thanks!” *pushes me out and slams door*

(I go back to the desk.)

Coworker: “Did you find it?”

Me: *nod* “I’m taking a break.”