You Can Swear By Her Behavior

| Bozeman, MT, USA | Working | May 2, 2016

(My coworker has a HUGE potty mouth. It’s what she’s known for. Our phones and half the hotels on our side of town are having trouble with outside lines. We can answer and talk to people but not hear them. As I’m closing my shift I warn her about them and tell her they are being worked on.)

Me: “Oh, and the person calling can hear you so for the love of Pete, don’t swear at the phone!”

Coworker: “Well, s***! I’m gonna f*** that up!”

(The phones were fixed before she could.)

Karma Is In The Cards

| USA | Right | May 1, 2016

(We just had problems with the electricity that is now fixed. Because of the earlier problems, some people are still feeling resentful.)

Guest: *snottily* “So, this so-called perfect hotel always have problems here?”

Me: “No, this is the first time in my working in ten years that we’ve had problems with the lights.”

(He frowns, displeased.)

Guest: “Well, will my key card still work?”

Me: “It should; the key card readers run on battery.”

Guest: *angry now* “Well, I just tried them; why the f*** don’t it work, then?!”

(He flings a key card at me. I pick it up.)

Me: “First of all, there’s a different hotel name on the cards. That’s why it doesn’t work here, SIR.”

(He turned a bright maroon and quickly left.)

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Psy-Chologically Damaging

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | April 26, 2016

Me: “Hello, sir. Good afternoon.”

Customer: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Are you checking in with us today?

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “Umm, no. I am Korean.”

Customer: “Oh, perfect, how do you spell ‘Gangnam Style’? I can’t seem to find it on YouTube.”

Me: *blank stare*

(Reluctantly I had to spell it out for him.)

Lack Of Agency Urgency

| London, England, UK | Working | April 24, 2016

(I am working on a very busy evening with an agency worker, sending food up to the rooms and back. The night has been the busiest I’ve ever seen it, and we’re starting to run short on plates. I’ve just returned from a floor to see the agency guy just standing around.)

Me: “Hey, [Agency Worker], can you do me a favour and run up to the kitchen and grab some—”

Agency Worker: “I think I might make coffee first. I’m tired.”

Me: *taken aback from being interrupted* “Well, let’s get these orders out the way first. I don’t want us to run out of plates when we’re this busy, so can you get some for me, please?”

(With a huff, the agency worker walks off. I get another room service order, and quite a large one in fact. I’m then phoned by a room for a request for more cutlery, so I run upstairs with a pair of knives and forks. I return five minutes later to see the agency guy slouched on the officer chair with a cup of coffee in hand, totally oblivious to the HUGE order that just came through, and without a single plate brought down. In a fit of anger, I slam my hand down hard on the counter.)

Me: “Right! Either you can get off your arse and do the work you signed up for, or you can leave. I’m not running around just so you can take it easy.”

(With one more huff, the agency worker brought back plates as instructed — the wrong ones, however. Nevertheless we managed to get through the night, but after that incident I asked my boss never to take him on again.)

A Magnet For Stupidity

| Lancaster, England, UK | Right | April 12, 2016

(This happens to my coworker. At 6:30 am, a guest storms up to the front desk and throws down his key card.)

Guest: “My d*** key doesn’t work anymore! It won’t work on the front door, it won’t work on the back door, and it won’t work on my room door! It doesn’t work at all!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that, sir. I’ll remake it for you right now.”

Guest: “What the h*** is wrong with it? It worked last night!”

Coworker: “Did you happen to put it near your cell phone?”

Guest: “Yeah, I guess. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Coworker: “Well, sir, when you put the card too close to your phone, that can cause it to demagnetize.”

Guest: “What? That’s stupid! Why do you have such ridiculous keys? I should be able to put my key wherever I want!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s just the way the keys are. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Guest: “Well, too bad! I’m going to keep putting it by my phone! You’ll just have to make me a new one each day!”

(The guest grabs his new key and storms off. I’m not sure what he meant by “too bad,” since deliberately letting his key get decoded would only be an inconvenience for him, not us.)

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