Checking Out On Capitalism

| Right | May 17, 2012

(This is graduation week for the college that is a couple blocks away, so our rates are higher than they usually are for this week. Our rates are about 30 dollars less than the average rate of next closest hotel to campus.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I would like a room with two beds for May 11th-14th.”

Me: “Sure, that will be $119 plus tax per night.”

Caller: “What?! That’s ridiculous! I stayed there last month, and it was only $79!”

Me: “Well, our rates do fluctuate based on what is going in the area. Supply and demand, you know?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, more people want hotel rooms, so the price goes up. That’s how businesses make money.”

Caller: “But you’re a hotel, not a business! I refuse to stay at a place where you jack up the rates to screw people over!” *hangs up*

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Too Bad You Can’t Ctrl-X Coworkers, Part 2

| Working | May 15, 2012

(I’m the General Manager of a brand-new hotel. One of my coworkers essentially became the owner’s “pet” after about three weeks of being open. She and I didn’t get along, which made things difficult as the owner would often take her side. The following is one incident that took place.)

Owner: “Where is that disc that [coworker] asked for from the software company?”

Me: “It’s in my office. Let me grab it.”

Coworker: “No, it’s here in the garbage. Why would you put it in the garbage?”

Me: “What? No, it was on my desk.”

Owner: “Why would you put it in the garbage? You knew she needed that!”

Me: *confused* “But I didn’t—”

Coworker: “Yes, you did! See, it’s all dirty. This is how you get viruses on your computer!”

Me: “You do not get computer viruses by putting in a disc that was in the garbage.”

Owner: “Of course you do! You don’t know what the h*** you’re talking about!”

Me: “I give up. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

(Thankfully, I didn’t have to put up with the coworker for long. She ended up stealing thousands of dollars from the hotel and got caught and arrested. When this happened, I said to the owner, “Computer virus, huh?” and she turned red and walked away.)


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Less Than Or Equal To Dumb

| Right | May 8, 2012

Guest: “We have a party of six. Will that fit in your hotel’s van?”

Me: “Well, our hotel van has room for eleven.”

Guest: *blank stare*

Me: “So, your party of six will fit.”

Guest: “Oh! Good.”

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The Skulls Are Thicker, Too

| Right | May 7, 2012

(We have a TV in our hotel’s breakfast lounge. A guest is having trouble turning it on with the remote.)

Guest: “Can you turn on the TV please? I can’t find the right button.”

Me: “Of course!” *turns on the TV*

Guest: “Oh, I didn’t know you had to press that button. Our remotes are different in Sudbury, you see.”

Me: “Sudbury has different remotes?”

Guest: *completely serious* “Yes, they’re quite thicker!”

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It’s So Fluffy!

| Right | May 4, 2012

(I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, laundry, and generally other things that need help. As I’m exchanging a guest’s towels, her friend comes out and seems really frustrated.)

Guest: “Um, do you guys actually wash the pillows here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can assure you that all the pillows in here are clean.”

Guest: “Obviously they’re clean! But do you wash them?”

Me:  “Uh…yes, we do.”

Guest:  “I knew it! THAT’S WHY THE PILLOWS ARE TOO G** D*** FLUFFY!”

Me:  “I’m sorry to hear that you were uncomfortable. Sometimes guests that are more used to things from their house bring their own pillows.”

Guest: “And why the h*** would I do that?! All you d*** people would just steal it and make it fluffy!”

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