Tow Me Away And Blow Me Away

, , , , | MT, USA | Hopeless | May 30, 2016

(I’ve met up with a handful of fellow students to go home for Thanksgiving break. While traveling over the mountains, the car spins out of control and smashes into the side of the road. We’re lucky to be unhurt.)

Me: “Okay, everyone out, turn the car off, and let’s see how bad it is.”

(The car is totaled and we don’t dare even turn it on for heat. Keep in mind this is in the Montana mountains during November.)

Driver: “I have AAA, but…” *checks phone* “…we’ve got no reception.”

Other Passenger: “The last exit was half an hour back.”

(After half an hour, someone pulls over. We expect the driver to offer to call AAA when he gets service, but instead…)

Stranger: “Hop in. You can all fit.”

(The random stranger gives us a ride to his town, and when he finds out we’re still far away from our homes, takes us to a hotel in his hometown. He comes back from speaking with the receptionist.)

Stranger: “Two rooms?”

Driver: “Yeah. How much?”

Stranger: “I work nearby, so you got a discount. The car will be towed right across the street; you can walk there.” *hands us all business cards* “Call me if you need anything.”

(We never saw him again. I keep his card in my wallet to remind me of that astonishing act of kindness.)

Gone In A Flash

| TN, USA | Friendly | May 28, 2016

(I’m on a wrestling trip with some family friends of ours and their youngest child is around six. All of the adults go for drinks and I am in charge of the younger kids.)

Youngest Kid: “HEY, LOOK!” *flashes us*

Kid #2: “DUDE, SERIOUSLY! NO!”

Me: *covers eyes until it’s safe* “Could you not…”

Kid #3: *comes into hotel room* “I heard screaming. What did I miss?”

Kid #2: “One whole centimeter.”

A Half-Hearted Friendship

| QC, Canada | Friendly | May 24, 2016

(For my school’s band trip we went to Quebec. A group of us are hanging out in Guy #1’s room. We’re all sitting on the bed; there’s seven girls and two guys.)

Guy #1: “Hey, now I can go back to school and say I had six girls in my bed!”

Guy #2: “Don’t forget to share!”

Guy #1: “So we each get three girls. Wait, there’s seven in the bed. We’re either sharing one girl or splitting her in half.”

Guy #2: “I am NOT sharing.”

Girl #1: “Well, I am not getting cut in half!”

Has A Suite Ending

| Kauai, HI, USA | Working | May 16, 2016

(My husband and I are on the last stop of our Hawaiian honeymoon in Kauai and go to check into the resort I’ve been looking forward to the most. At our other resorts we parked at valet but since self-park is so close to the entrance we figure why not save $20? As my husband is parking, I’m getting us checked in. The very nice clerk and I chat for a bit about the honeymoon and whatnot. He is running my credit card to put a financial hold on it for the room charge. When it doesn’t go through the first time he tries running it several more times. Then my email goes crazy with alerts from my credit card company as three-four charges have gone through for $1500+ each.)

Me: “Wait, wait, wait! I think those charges are going through!”

(I show him the emails, trying not to panic.)

Clerk: “I’m so sorry. Let me go get that taken care of.”

(The clerk disappears at this point for maybe five minutes and my husband arrives from parking the car. After a short time the clerk returns.)

Clerk: “Okay, I spoke to my manager and got the charge issue corrected.”

Me: “Great, thank you!”

Clerk: “Thank you for being patient.”

Me: *obviously joking* “I mean, grrr, we want an upgrade.”

Clerk: “Oh, I’ve done that, too. You’re now staying in our presidential suite; it’s the nicest room in the resort.”

Me: “No, wait, no, I was kidding! I don’t need an upgrade.”

Clerk: “You’re on your honeymoon! Enjoy!”

(My husband and I both offer a stunned thank you, still not certain what the “nicest” room means. It turns out to be a 2800 sq ft suite (several times larger than our tiny 500 sq ft NYC apartment) with a full kitchen, four-person hot tub, and three balconies.)

Husband: “I’m pretty sure we are the first people staying in this room that used self-park!”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Right | May 5, 2016

(A teenage guest goes into our snack shop and picks out two drinks.)

Guest: “These are $4.00, right?”

Me: “$4.24.”

Guest: “$4.24?!”

Me: “Yes, with the tax.”

Guest: “I don’t like tax!”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

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