A Disturbing Way To Say ‘Do Not Disturb’

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | November 8, 2016

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. My family got two hotel rooms, one for my parents and the other for my sister and me. My mom comes into my room as I’m doing my hair in the bathroom, half-dressed. There’s a knock on the door and I assume it’s my dad.)

Me: *yelling* “I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!”

(Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t my dad. It was a hotel employee. He muffled a response of “uh, ok” and left. If you’re out there, sir, I’m so sorry. I hope I made your day though because my family can’t stop laughing.)

In A Butter Bother

| Clute, TX, USA | Right | November 7, 2016

(I am the customer. I have brought peanut butter and bread to a hotel room, but have not brought a knife. Looking around the room, I have found a ballpoint pen, and am intending to use it as a spreader. My cousin, who I am sharing the room with, asks:)

Cousin: “Are you sure that’s sanitary?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I call the front desk.)

Front Desk: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. How sanitary are your pens?”

Front Desk: “What?”

Me: “The pens. The ballpoint pens. I’m seeing if I can use them as peanut butter spreaders.”

Front Desk: “I don’t know. Some people take them home, and some of them just come off a cart… We have butter knives!”

Me: “Are they complimentary?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

Me: “Can you send them up?”

Front Desk: “Sure.”

(They did!)

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Related | November 5, 2016

(My mom and grandma surprised us with a trip to Disneyland, and we got back a little while ago. My little brother has been quite a brat lately, and earlier he rolled off the bed and “hurt” his leg, even though he rolled down very slowly.)

Brother: “Mommy, my knee hurts!”

Mom: “I know, honey, but you’ll be okay.”

Grandma: “He didn’t really hurt himself, [Mom]; he’s just pretending like last time.”

(When she says last time she is referring to the last time he “hurt” himself. He pretended to not be able to move his leg so we would think it was broken, but he barely bruised it.)

Brother: “I’m not pretending!”

(By this time he was screaming, and my grandma told him to stop or we would get kicked out.)


Mom: “I have to go to the bathroom; I’ll deal with him when I get out.”

(As mom leaves, my brother sticks his tongue out and proceeds to hop on his “hurt” leg all over the room, and back in bed when he hears the door open. He blinks some tears out of his eyes and puts a pillow under his knee.)

Grandma: “[Mom], he was just hopping all over the room on his hurt leg.”

Brother: *screaming* “NO, I WASN’T! STOP LYING!”

(What my brother didn’t know was that when he was hopping around I turned in my phone camera and recorded him. I shove my phone in my mom’s hands and play the video. She begins frowning, and glares at my brother.)

Mom: “You, young man, are grounded for two weeks for faking an injury and trying to make your grandma look like a liar, and are not allowed to watch the fireworks tonight.”

(My brother got quite red in the face and lay under the comforters, and I chuckled very quietly.)

Cooking Up A Resignation Letter

| BC, Canada | Working | November 4, 2016

I work in a new hotel setting up and running the breakfast bar. My boss, the owner/manager, has interesting ideas on how things should be done and will make “suggestions” that she expected me to implement. Some of the time they work fine, but others, not so much.

For example, the time she told me to use a plastic bin in the convection oven because you aren’t supposed to use metal. Yeah, no. I opened the oven to see a river of molten plastic running down the racks, with half-cooked scrambled eggs mixed in.

Another time it was cook the scrambled eggs that came in an oblong plastic bag in the microwave. Should work, right? Well, since the bag was too long to turn on the turntable, it cooked partially and exploded all over the microwave.

Of course, since I did it, it was my fault when things went wrong. And I got to clean up the mess every time!

Love it when the boss hasn’t a clue how to cook!

No Room For This Scam

| OK, USA | Working | November 2, 2016

(I work the front desk of a hotel for years. Confidentiality is an extremely important part a desk clerk’s job but that doesn’t stop scammers from trying to obtain information.)

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Name] from [Hotel]’s corporate office in Alabama. We have had to reset all systems and so I need you to give me the names of all guest staying in rooms.” *rattles off a small group of room numbers*

Me: *immediately suspicious because our corporate is closed on the weekends and is not located anywhere near Alabama* “I apologize, but why are you needing this information?”

Caller: “We lost some information while resetting your hotel’s system. Now I need you to give me the names of the guests in those rooms and their information.”

Me: “And who did you say you were with?”

Caller: “I am a front office expert with your company. Now, please, I need the names of the guest in–” *repeats room numbers from earlier* “–and their information so I can replace the data that was lost while the system was down.”

Me: “I am sorry, but I am not at liberty to give out guests’ information. Surely being a ‘front office expert’ you can understand why.”

Caller: *hangs up*

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