Across Sea And Land

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2019

(I work in a hotel.)

Guest: “Can I store some things in your freezer?”

Me: “We do have some space, not a lot, but we can fit a few things.”

(We don’t even have a real kitchen since we only do a continental breakfast.)

Guest: “Can you fit twenty pounds of seafood in there?”

Me: “Twenty pounds?! I’m sorry but we don’t have that much room.”

Guest: “Oh, oh, well. It’ll just have to stay in the cooler with the dry ice.”

(I still am not sure why he was traveling from Wisconsin to Washington State with twenty pounds of frozen seafood in his pickup but I really didn’t want to ask.)

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They’re Going To Take A Leap

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2019

(I’m a new employee in a hotel, working with a trainer on my first day. I’m trying to concentrate, but a few goofy guys keep bothering us while she’s trying to train me.)

Goofy Guys: “Hey, hey! We need a cab! We need to buy beer!”

Trainer: “Okay, just wait there until it comes. It’ll take 30 minutes.”

Goofy Guys: “Hey! We can’t wait that long! Why is it so long?!”

Trainer: “That’s just the way it goes.”

(She continues training me, explaining our work. Meanwhile, the goofy guys keep interrupting and making loud, goofy jokes. Finally, the cab comes to pick them up, but before they leave…)

Goofy Guys: “Hey, you two! You know what?! When we come back, we’ll jump over each other like a leapfrog, through the door! It’ll be epic! What do ya think?!”

(The trainer just smiles so they go away, and we continue training. Hours later, the door opens and the goofy guys return.)

Goofy Guys: “Hey! Look at this!”

(One by one, true to their word, they started leap-frogging over one another through the door, down the hall, and up to their rooms. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve seen, yet hilarious at the same time!)

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Unfiltered Story #177164

, | Unfiltered | November 13, 2019

I am the front desk manager at a hotel in a small, isolated Maritime city that happens to be a very popular tourist destination. We are several hours away from the next big city and as such hotel rooms are in very high demand here during the summer months. This story takes place earlier in the summer during a very busy period when we are completely sold out of rooms, like every other hotel in the area. We had been sold out at this point for the past several weeks and we don’t have any vacancies coming up for at least another couple weeks.
I get a call one night from my front desk employee telling me she has an irate customer at the front desk and she needs my help. I hear the lady screaming in the background so without asking for details, I throw on some clothes, hop in my car and rush over. I walk in and am greeted by a tirade of swear words coming from this tiny, well dressed woman. I approach her and introduce myself.
Me: Hello! I am the manager, I understand we have a problem
Customer: Damn right we have a problem! This b***h won’t give me my f***ing room! I paid for it months ago, I flew all the way out here, 12 hours on a crowded plane and all I want to do is sleep! This dumb excuse for an employee is telling me that I don’t have a reservation and that you don’t even have a room! I’ve got the F***ing confirmation right here!
She shoves a hand full of papers at me which I take and read.
Me: I see. Well I’m sorry to hear about this ma’am, let’s see if we can sort all this out.
Customer: I don’t wanna here “sort this out.” I want a f***ing room and I want it in the next 2 minutes. Understood? You c**t.
Me: first of all, you will watch your language otherwise I will have you escorted off the property. Second, according to the paper work you just handed me, your reservation was for last week.
Customer: What?!! F**k you! I booked that room for tonight for 3 days, you guys must have screwed this up somehow!
At this point I am behind the desk pulling up her reservation in the system. I see that her room was in fact booked through a 3rd party website which meant that she not only paid in full but that she herself would have selected the dates. I see that she was a no show and that the 3rd party company paid us the no show fee.
Me: Ma’am, I’m very sorry to tell you this but you did in fact book your room for last week and you were a no show. If this happened during the winter when things are slower I might be able to make you a deal on a new room but I don’t even have one to offer you at full price. We are booked solid tonight and every night until the end of the month. I’m terribly sorry ma’am.
Customer:…what. did. You. SAY?! F**K YOU! You are not telling me this! I don’t want to hear this right now.
Me: Ma’am I’m…
Customer: NO! You guys screwed this up, I didn’t make a mistake! I booked that room for tonight! You guys messed this up somehow and if you won’t give me a room then you will give me my money back so that I can take my business elsewhere.
Me: This reservation was pre-paid and non cancellable so even if I wanted to refund your no show fee I couldn’t. We weren’t the ones who took your money, (3rd party company) did and they are far less flexible than we are. I’m sorry but you were a no show, you lost your reservation and as much as I would love to help you there are simply no options here. There are only 4 hotels in this area and they are all fully booked. The next closest one is (town nearly 3 hours away) and I’m fairly certain they will be fully booked too.
Customer: Are you kidding me?! I’m not going all that way for a bloody hotel room! How would I even get there? I came by plane, I didn’t drive! You’re going to pay for my taxi to get to (other town)
Me: Again, I would love to help you but you made a mistake. You booked your room for the wrong day and you missed your reservation. You selected the dates yourself, you confirmed them before submitting your payment and you even had the confirmation printed on paper in your own hands. I’m sorry but we haven’t done anything wrong in this situation and as much as I would like to help you there is no compensation I can provide. If you want to go to (next town) for a room I can absolutely make the arrangements for travel and accommodation but it will be at your expense. Otherwise you are welcome to take a cot free of charge and spend the night in one of our empty conference rooms until you make other arrangements.
Customer: This is bulls**t! I have never had such terrible customer service in my entire life! I someone books a room you are supposed to have one set aside for them for when they get here!
Me: Again ma’am, we DID have a rooms et aside for you, LAST WEEK when you reserved it. You didn’t show up!
Customer: How is it my problem that you don’t have a room for me tonight, hmm? Explain that to me.
Me: YOU booked the room on line. YOU selected the dates. YOU had the confirmation in your hands. YOU made the mistake.
Customer: I didn’t make a mistake! The damn website wouldn’t let me book for today, I kept getting a stupid error message, something about the hotel being closed. I called and the guy who answered said you never closed and that this is a 24 hour establishment so it must have been a mistake on your end. I had no choice but to change the date to last weeks date because that was the only way it would let my reservation go through.
Me: So you acknowledge that you selected those dates then?
Customer: Yes! Because it wouldn’t let me book for tonight but the intention was to be here TONIGHT!
Me: Ok, first of all ma’am when you get a message that the hotel is closed, that means that we are sold out and have closed our online booking so that people can’t reserve rooms that we don’t have. If the site doesn’t let you book for a certain day it’s because you can’t. Booking for another day will only guarantee you a room for the day you booked. You chose dates for last week, that was when your room was booked for. If you try to book a flight for tomorrow and the flight is sold out, do you think you could book a flight for next week and still get on the plain tomorrow?
Customer: Well of course not, that would be stupid.
As she says this a look of realization crosses her face and she gets really red and starts to cry.
Customer: I’m an idiot. I’m here for an important business meeting, we could lose these clients if I don’t rock this meeting and that could cost me my job! I’m already on thin ice here…I can’t even take another room elsewhere, this was paid by the company and I’m on a budget. Can I just take that cot like you offered then?
Me: Absolutely ma’am, and again I am terribly sorry that you have to go through all this.
She ended up sleeping in the conference room and left the next day. She wasn’t able to find other accommodations and the 3rd party company was not willing to reimburse her. She told me the next morning before leaving that the meeting was cancelled since she had nowhere to stay and that she would most likely be demoted upon returning to work. I felt bad but I hope she learns a lesson. We may have been closed on line but we physically had a couple rooms left on the day she booked. If she had at least called we could have booker her that room directly at the hotel but she chose to take a short cut.

Doing A Disservice To Service Animals

, , , , | Right | November 12, 2019

Caller: “You’re a pet-friendly hotel, correct?”

Me: “No, sorry. We only allow service animals.”

Caller: “Oh.” *pause* “Do you require paperwork for service animals?”

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The Key To The Keycard Is LOOKING At Them

, , | Right | November 10, 2019

(We are an expensive hotel, due to being in a touristy, historical part of downtown. As such, the customers are more demanding. A thunderstorm has knocked out our power, and the hotel doesn’t have a backup source. I’ve had to deal with a lot of nasty guests because of this and I’m very stressed. A very tall guy walks up.)

Guest: “Has your power been fixed yet?”

Me: “No, we are still working on it.”

Guest: *tosses keycard and DL at me* “This is BS! I’m paying $350 at a place like this! Plus, my keycard doesn’t work!”

(The locks have their own batteries, so that’s strange. Since our computers don’t work, I check our files.)

Me: “[Room], right?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, I figured out the problem; this keycard doesn’t work because this is from a different chain!” *holds it up*

(There’s a little silence while his face turns white and two spots of red appear. Our keycard machine also has a battery, so I make him another one.)

Me: “There, this one should work.” *smiles*

(I thought that he’d blow up for my snarkiness, but he just took it and scooted out of my sight as fast as he could. The electric company restored our power an hour later and the next day when he was checking out, he couldn’t look at me.)

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