Unlucky For Some

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

My family recently took a trip to Boston for a long weekend. We flew up early Saturday morning and were returning home late Tuesday evening. Since we got in so early, around nine am, my mom paid a little extra for the hotel to give us early check-in, so we could get settled before heading back out.

We were given the room 444, which I chuckled at, having recently learned that the number 4 is like 13 in China: bad luck. We went up to our room only to find a woman already there, in her pajamas. We went back to the lobby to clear it up.

As it was so early, breakfast was going on, so my brother and I went to eat something. Our mom came back about twenty minutes later with new room keys. Apparently, the night auditor had let their friend use an unbooked room, thinking that no one would be in there until the regular check-in time.

My mom got the extra fee waived for her troubles, and we got an extra breakfast. We came out positive in my book, but I don’t think the night auditor can say the same.

Got A Bad Reading On This Customer

, , | Right | March 10, 2018

(I work in a hotel. After midnight, the front doors are locked and people can only get in by pushing a button. Most people are okay with this; however, some take major offense.)

Customer:Why are your doors locked?!”

Me: “So sorry, ma’am. That is our security policy.”

Customer: “Blah blah blah! So rude to lock paying customers out!”

Me: “Like I said: it’s our policy. There’s a sign explaining this.”

Customer: “I’m illiterate!”

Me: “Uh…”

(I’m stunned, since no one has used that excuse.)

Customer: “Discrimination!”

Me: “If you can’t read, then how did you sign the registration card?”

(But she had already stormed off. The real problem came when she went outside with a smug, spiteful expression, then came back in, KICKED the doors, broke them, and was unable to come in because they were broken. When I finally managed to reset the automated doors, I was treated to a expletive-laden rant while she ran off. The next day, she called to extend her stay, and after reading my log about her, we were mysteriously “sold out” and she was kicked out.)

Managed That Gamble

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I am working at the reception desk of a hotel at 11 pm. We have a walk-in, which is uncommon here as it is a golf resort, out in the middle of nowhere, but does happen. This guy says he is traveling on business and wants a basic room. I make his booking in the system, and give him the price. It’s a pretty low rate for this county, as it is midweek.)

Customer: “Aww, that’s really expensive! Can’t you get me a better rate?”

Me: “I’m sorry. The system decides the price based on day and availability; there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “Come on! I know the manager of this place! He’d give me a low price!”

Me: *my scam senses are tingling so I decide to play his game* “I see. Well. I might be able to get you a regular’s discount… if you can give me the manager’s name.”

(I say this in the full knowledge that this guy won’t know it, and I won’t have to give him the discount. I realise this could be considered a gamble, but call it intuition.)

Customer: “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

Me: “Well… if you were asking for a member’s discount, I would need your member’s card to prove you were a member. Usually for a regular’s discount, I have to check our system for proof of at least six bookings in the year, so… as a customer, there’s a lot of things you have to prove. Is there a problem?”

(Lucky me, as a night porter, I can get cheeky with the customers, as we are considered security, and I can write almost any questioning off as “checking for suspicious behavior.” I do not suffer people like this gladly. I would never, ever swear or raise my voice to a customer, so through this exchange, I have been smiling, polite, and chirpy.)

Customer: *getting a sort of “rabbit in headlights” look* “Um. Well. It might be the old manager, now.”

Me: “Ah, well, that’s a shame. You could give me his name to be sure?”

Customer: *grumbling* “Never mind. I shall take the rate.”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I finish putting his booking through, and take him to his room, wishing him a goodnight. As I walk away from his door, he leans back out and calls quietly to me.)

Customer: “How many times has someone actually tried that on you?”

Me: “Enough that I have an answer for every method they try.”

The Bible Contains A Multitude Of Sins

, , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I work the front desk at a hotel, and we just had a wedding party depart. Shortly after they leave, one of the housekeepers brings down a Bible and says it was left in one of the rooms. They’re smiling from ear to ear as they tell me to open it. Inside, I find a secret compartment filled with a collapsible shot glass, a knife, a holster for the knife, brass knuckles, and keys to lock the Bible. It is all very illegal, but when I tell my managers they say I should try and return it to the woman, since she happens to be the bride.)

Me: “Hello. This is [My Name] calling from [Hotel]. It seems as if you’ve left an item behind that we would like to ship to you.”

Bride: “What item? I don’t remember leaving anything.”

Me: “You’ve left your Bible.”

Bride: “I don’t own a Bible.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but it was found in your room and has your name inside it.”

Bride: “Well, could you describe it to me?”

Me: “Um… Well… It’s a black Bible, and when you open it there’s a secret compartment. It has some… interesting items inside.”

Bride: “Oh. Oh! That was a wedding present! I can’t believe I forgot about it! Would you be able to ship it to me?”

Me: “I do apologize, but due to the nature of the item, we would be unable to ship it. Would you have a way of picking it up?”

Bride: “I live two hours away! There’s no way I’m coming back for that thing!”

Me: “Do you have someone else to pick it up? If not, I will have to turn it over to the police to discard it safely.”

Bride: “No, no! Don’t do that! I’ll send someone.”

(About twenty minutes later a man in dirty, baggy clothes, with unkempt hair comes into the hotel. He has a very grizzled expression on his face.)

Man: “You got my Bible?”

Me: “Let me just call to ask if—”

Coworker: “It’s right here! Have a good day!”

(The man grunted and walked out. My coworker said she just wanted it out of our hotel. We never got a call back from the bride, so I guess it all turned out okay. Hopefully.)

Confirming Nothing

, , | Right | March 7, 2018

(Our hotel has been booked up for a particular Friday for weeks due to a convention in town. The night before that date, we are still technically entirely booked for that date, and we get a call from a guest.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], I have this lady on the phone, and she says she wanted to book for tomorrow night, but somehow it was booked for tonight, instead.”

Me: “Hmm… Well…”

Coworker: “Yeah, I explained that we were booked up, and she said we should accommodate her because she has a ‘confirmation.'”

Me: *after taking the appropriate time to process this logic* “No. Tell her we’re booked, and we can cancel her reservation for tonight, but that’s all.”

Coworker: *after getting back on the phone for a few moments* “Huh. She hung up. Didn’t even tell me if she wanted to cancel or not.”

Me: “Just put a note on her reservation not to charge it if it no-shows. You know, we’re at the point now that we’ll probably have plenty of rooms after no-shows and cancellations are accounted for. But since she decided to be a b****, she isn’t getting one.”

(If her logic carried, anyone could make a reservation for another night and then call and claim that it was supposed to be for a night when we’re sold out. I’m not going to reward that kind of stupid and solidify it in someone’s head that it can work that way.)

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