Has A Suite Ending

| Kauai, HI, USA | Working | May 16, 2016

(My husband and I are on the last stop of our Hawaiian honeymoon in Kauai and go to check into the resort I’ve been looking forward to the most. At our other resorts we parked at valet but since self-park is so close to the entrance we figure why not save $20? As my husband is parking, I’m getting us checked in. The very nice clerk and I chat for a bit about the honeymoon and whatnot. He is running my credit card to put a financial hold on it for the room charge. When it doesn’t go through the first time he tries running it several more times. Then my email goes crazy with alerts from my credit card company as three-four charges have gone through for $1500+ each.)

Me: “Wait, wait, wait! I think those charges are going through!”

(I show him the emails, trying not to panic.)

Clerk: “I’m so sorry. Let me go get that taken care of.”

(The clerk disappears at this point for maybe five minutes and my husband arrives from parking the car. After a short time the clerk returns.)

Clerk: “Okay, I spoke to my manager and got the charge issue corrected.”

Me: “Great, thank you!”

Clerk: “Thank you for being patient.”

Me: *obviously joking* “I mean, grrr, we want an upgrade.”

Clerk: “Oh, I’ve done that, too. You’re now staying in our presidential suite; it’s the nicest room in the resort.”

Me: “No, wait, no, I was kidding! I don’t need an upgrade.”

Clerk: “You’re on your honeymoon! Enjoy!”

(My husband and I both offer a stunned thank you, still not certain what the “nicest” room means. It turns out to be a 2800 sq ft suite (several times larger than our tiny 500 sq ft NYC apartment) with a full kitchen, four-person hot tub, and three balconies.)

Husband: “I’m pretty sure we are the first people staying in this room that used self-park!”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Right | May 5, 2016

(A teenage guest goes into our snack shop and picks out two drinks.)

Guest: “These are $4.00, right?”

Me: “$4.24.”

Guest: “$4.24?!”

Me: “Yes, with the tax.”

Guest: “I don’t like tax!”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

You Can Swear By Her Behavior

| Bozeman, MT, USA | Working | May 2, 2016

(My coworker has a HUGE potty mouth. It’s what she’s known for. Our phones and half the hotels on our side of town are having trouble with outside lines. We can answer and talk to people but not hear them. As I’m closing my shift I warn her about them and tell her they are being worked on.)

Me: “Oh, and the person calling can hear you so for the love of Pete, don’t swear at the phone!”

Coworker: “Well, s***! I’m gonna f*** that up!”

(The phones were fixed before she could.)

Karma Is In The Cards

| USA | Right | May 1, 2016

(We just had problems with the electricity that is now fixed. Because of the earlier problems, some people are still feeling resentful.)

Guest: *snottily* “So, this so-called perfect hotel always have problems here?”

Me: “No, this is the first time in my working in ten years that we’ve had problems with the lights.”

(He frowns, displeased.)

Guest: “Well, will my key card still work?”

Me: “It should; the key card readers run on battery.”

Guest: *angry now* “Well, I just tried them; why the f*** don’t it work, then?!”

(He flings a key card at me. I pick it up.)

Me: “First of all, there’s a different hotel name on the cards. That’s why it doesn’t work here, SIR.”

(He turned a bright maroon and quickly left.)

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Psy-Chologically Damaging

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | April 26, 2016

Me: “Hello, sir. Good afternoon.”

Customer: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Are you checking in with us today?

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “Umm, no. I am Korean.”

Customer: “Oh, perfect, how do you spell ‘Gangnam Style’? I can’t seem to find it on YouTube.”

Me: *blank stare*

(Reluctantly I had to spell it out for him.)

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