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Fraud For Dinner, Prison For Dessert

, , | Legal | February 2, 2019

(A business guest who has stayed with us for around a week comes to check out. Even though he was here for business and his company had booked his room for him, he brought his wife, which is not a problem for us, but the company explicitly said they will only pay for one person. So, we split the bill into his stay and his food and beverage consumption and a separate bill for his wife’s consumptions, which he will have to pay himself.)

Guest: “All the food is split up.”

Me: “Yes, your company will only pay for your food, but you will have to pay for your wife.”

Guest: “Yes, but can’t you just wrote ‘Dinner’ and the full amount without specifying how many people ate?”

Me: “No, this is an automatically generated bill. When you go to the restaurant, they type in what you order and that’s how it appears on the final bill.”

Guest: “Can you not… change it? I can say it was very expensive, but that it was only me eating here.”

Me: “I’m afraid we can’t do that, sir.”

Guest: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because modifying a bill is fraud and if your company finds out they will not do any business with us again.”

Guest: *grumbles and pays*

(Seriously though, your wife stays with you for free and you only pay for her food? Isn’t that enough?)

The Kindness Muffin

, , , , | Working | February 1, 2019

I was working the evening shift on a very quiet Sunday and I ordered some dinner through a food delivery company. It was raining badly outside; all our guests complained about it. The delivery guy, on a bike, came in completely soaking wet! I said I was so sorry to make him deliver my food in such bad weather and that I was happy to eat a nice, warm dinner during my break. He looked so cold and wet that I insisted he take some hot coffee from our coffee machine, and I gave him some chocolates that are usually for members of the hotel when they check in. He was very happy!

Several weeks later, I was working the same shift and again ordered my dinner through the same company. The same guy came with my food, and when he saw me he said he had something for me. He ran back to his bike and came back with a box of homemade muffins! His wife had made them and he really wanted me to have one, too. It was the most delicious muffin ever. Be kind to your delivery person!

Had To Search Card And Wide

, , , , | Right | January 31, 2019

(My hotel recently upgraded to key cards instead of old-school keys. Instead of getting the standard, cheap magnetic cards, we opted for more expensive cards with a chip and antenna in them that prevents them from deactivating. Because these cards aren’t cheap, we do charge for them when they are taken, and this notice is printed on each of the key cards to let guests know. One morning at checkout, I have a particularly difficult time with several guests yelling at me about the missing card charge. This interaction is the best, though.)

Me: *talking to the guest checking out* “So, you’re at a zero balance, and I’ll just need your key card, and you can be on your way!”

Guest: “I left it in the room.”

Me: “Are you sure? Because if our housekeeping staff cannot find it in the room, there is a charge for missing keys.”

Guest: “Are you serious? How much?”

Me: “£5. They’re not the cheap magnetic cards. They have a chip and antenna in them to prevent them—“

Guest: *cutting me off* “This is ridiculous! £5? You should be ashamed of yourself! I stay in hotels for business three times a week and I’ve not ever been charged for a key card!”

(He then starts to unload his things at the desk; he hangs his coat on the edge of the desk, takes out his phone, takes out ANOTHER phone, takes out his wallet, takes out his car keys… and then magically PULLS THE KEY CARD OUT OF HIS POCKET and slams it on the desk.)

Me: *trying to be as nice as possible, even though HE is the one who should be ashamed!* “Oh! Looks like it wasn’t in the room after all. Thank you sooo much for returning it, and I hope you have a nice day!”

No Means No Means No Means No Means…

, , , , | Romantic | January 29, 2019

(I’m the front desk clerk for one of many hotels around the Atlanta Football Stadium. This happened last year during football season.)

Guest’s Friend: “Um, my friend wanted me to ask for a pen and paper.”

(I find both his behavior and his mention of his friend asking him to do this a bit odd. He looks like he feels extremely awkward about having to talk to me, and what happens shortly after explains why. He walks off after awkwardly thanking me and goes around the corner out of sight. I can hear two to four guys whispering, one of them chuckling and sounding a bit excited. The guy comes back.)

Guest’s Friend: *even more awkwardly before* “Umm, uh… just… Here, he wanted me to give you this.”

(He attempts to hand me a folded piece of paper and I realize it must be a phone number. I’m slightly shocked, because I don’t think of myself as that attractive, and I don’t expect such events like this to happen. Not wanting to put his friend in any more awkwardness, and wanting to just let him be on his way, I accept the paper from him and simply say, “Thanks,” also feeling a bit awkward, and let him return to his friends. I can hear them all whispering again, and the one voice from before sounds even more excited now. Soon after, the group of them comes out from around the corner to head out, and the guy in the back turns around and walks backward among the group, looking at me. They all look to be in their late teens; I’m 30.)

Creepy Guy: “I’ll hear from you later, right?”

(He does a double finger-gun motion and winks at me.)

Me: “Um…”

Creepy Guy: “Night, my sweet thang.”

(Just before the automatic doors close I hear him tell his friends in a slightly raised, happy voice:)

Creepy Guy: “I hope she calls me tonight! Ah, man!”

(I think nothing of it at first until they return after a couple of hours.)

Creepy Guy: “I’ll be up for a few more hours, cutie. Don’t worry about waking me when you call.” *winks again before going to their room*

(I feel bad for the guy because I can tell he’s all excited by the simple fact that I blindly took his phone number without having any clue who the number was from other than the guy’s “friend.” Not wanting this guy to get overly excited for nothing, or stay up waiting for my call, I decide to wait a few minutes before texting the number given to me to give him the bad news.)

Me: “Hey. It’s the lady from the front desk. I’m sorry, but I’m dating someone. I didn’t mean to get you all excited before; I just didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends earlier. I’m really sorry. I was just trying to be polite during that situation.”

Creepy Guy: “Aww, really? That’s too bad. I’d love to get with you sometime. Can’t you ask?”

Me: “Ask? Umm, what do you mean?”

Creepy Guy: “Ask him if I can take you on a date!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not going to happen. We’ve been dating for four years and have been living together for two. We are pretty happy with each other and don’t have any interest in sharing each other with others.”

Creepy Guy: “Aww, come on now. I can keep a secret; I won’t tell if you won’t tell!”

Me: “Um, sorry. No, I have to pass on that. Besides, I’m probably out of your age group for dating.”

Creepy Guy: “We can make it work. I don’t even live in the area, but I come out here for all the games in town, so we can go on dates often and see where things can go after. If the distance is an issue, I live just inside Alabama, so it’s not that bad of a drive if you want me over. I promise you’ll like me.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I’m happy with my boyfriend. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your night, but I really was just trying to be nice in front of your friends.”

(I’m thinking to myself, “Not like I could just leave if they did return; I have to act nice and polite to all guests as part of my job,” and I’m mentally kicking myself in the head for getting into this new situation.)

Creepy Guy: “Well, I’m fine. I know you’ll turn yourself around and decide to date me. I’m a great guy!”

Me: “I’m sure you are, but so is my boyfriend, who I love very much. I’m happy where I am now.”

Creepy Guy: “Can I come down and talk to you for a while?”

(I am thinking, “Oh, God, no, please don’t.”)

Me: “Oh, well my coworker has taken over my shift. I’ve already left for home.”

(I’m still at work, with another hour before my coworker arrives, but I’m hoping he doesn’t figure out I’m bluffing.)

Creepy Guy: “Well, you’re more than welcome to come back and ask for a key to my room and come see me.”

Me: “No, thanks. I’ll be eating dinner with my boyfriend shortly. Have a good night, and I hope things work out for you. I’m sure you’ll find someone out there to date.”

(I continue with my shift. I jump almost every time I hear the elevator being called up or someone coming down the stairs. and I hide in the side office of the front desk, hoping that if it’s him, he doesn’t see me and realize I’m still there and try to change my mind again. Luckily, my coworker arrives, I explain to him how happy I am to see him. I tell him of the events that took place, and the text messages. He chuckles and tells me to go ahead and leave instead of doing our usual long, friendly chats before I head home. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of the tale for this guy. A few days later, via text.)

Creepy Guy: “Hey! You never called! Did your boyfriend say yes?”

Me: “Who is this?”

(I had the old messages deleted.)

Creepy Guy: “Oh, come on. It’s me! The guy from the hotel.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I thought I explained it to you before; both my boyfriend and I aren’t interested in dating other people, only each other.”

Creepy Guy: “You know you want to… Are you working now? I could come over and take you to dinner when you get off! When does your shift end?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not sure how many times, or how many different ways I can tell you this. But I will not be dating you, or seeing you.”

Creepy Guy: “I’m a nice guy! Give a nice guy a chance! Nobody ever gives us a chance.”

Me: “You aren’t very nice if you think it’s okay for me to see someone else while living with and dating my boyfriend. I’m sorry, but this is a firm no. Please stop messaging me; my choice won’t change.”

Creepy Guy: “I bet I could treat you better than he does.”

(I block him at this point cause I’m no longer feeling up to being polite toward him anymore. Sadly, yet again, this still isn’t the end of it. Several weeks later, I’m working at the front desk again. I’m just now finishing a check-in for a new guest, and the creepy guy walks in and stands next to the new guest, just short from actually touching shoulders with them. The guest gives him an odd look and takes one step to the side, so they aren’t so close. I hand the guest his keys, making sure to keep the room number hidden, and send him on his way.)

Creepy Guy: “Hey, you never called me back! I’ve been trying to text you. Did something happen to your phone? Was that your boyfriend? Could I ask him for us? I really want to take you out some time.”

(I’m now hating life, knowing I have to at least attempt to be nice to him while working, and other guests and sitting in the lobby chatting to each other.)

Me: “No, that was just a guest. Again, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in dating you. I’m very happy with my current boyfriend of four years.”

Creepy Guy: “Aww, come on! I like you. I’m a good looking guy. I’m nice! I swear, just give me a chance.”

(As he’s saying this, another guest and her husband are walking past to go out for dinner. She overhears him and has no clue I have just told him I’m dating someone already and that this guy is basically begging me to cheat.)

Female Guest: “Aww, look at the poor guy. Give him a chance; he seems to be a nice guy.” *continues to walk out of the hotel*

Creepy Guy: “See? Now you have to go on a date with me!”

Me: “I don’t have to do anything. Please, I’m working. I’ve already told you no many times. Please just go.”

(Of course, he doesn’t leave. He spends the next hour trying to talk me into dating him. He hardly moves out of other people’s way when I go to check them in, and occasionally interrupts them to talk to me as if we are friends. Eventually, the other guests in the lobby decide to leave, but they never speak up to him to try and encourage him to leave me alone, despite sending glances our way. Creepy Guy notices this and takes advantage now that we are alone.)

Creepy Guy: *trying to act all sad to gain my sympathy* ” Aww… I really wanted to see you. I was in town for another game and, well… it’s my birthday. I was really hoping I could get a birthday kiss from you, you know, since it’s my birthday and all.”

Me: “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you’re entitled to get a kiss from me or anyone else. I. Am. Taken. There won’t be anything going on between you and me.

Creepy Guy: “Can’t I get a hug, at least?”

Me: “No.”

Creepy Guy: “Why not? Friends hug! It can be a friendly hug.”

Me: “One: I’m taken. Two: we aren’t friends; I don’t know anything about you. Three: I’m working. I can’t do anything like that, anyway. I have to be doing my job.”

Creepy Guy: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell! Just give me a kiss; it’s for my birthday!”

Me: “It could be the end of the world tomorrow, and you still won’t be getting either from me.”

Creepy Guy: “I bet I could jump over this counter. I just really want a kiss from you. Can’t I just have one kiss?”

Me: “Please don’t do that. I have cameras there, there, there, there, and there.” *points to every single camera we can both see, in hopes this will make him leave me alone, or at least prevent him from trying to jump over my counter* “My boss watches us from time to time, and she’ll glance over them to make sure we aren’t doing anything we aren’t supposed to. You can’t jump over this counter. Just don’t.”

Creepy Guy: “We could go over into that room next to you there!”

Me: “I’ve said no several times already; that should be the end of the conversation. Plus, there is a camera watching over the door that leads to that room, and a camera inside of the room itself. Please don’t make attempts to get to me.”

Creepy Guy: “Just go turn off the light, and I’ll be super fast and run in and hope she doesn’t see me go in, and then we can kiss in there!”

Me: “The cameras have night vision. Not that it matters — I’ve already told you no many, many times. Please leave me alone!”

(Of course, he doesn’t; he keeps switching between begging me for either a kiss, or a hug, and I keep refusing. He continues to barely give new arrivals room to stand at the desk to get checked in. After a few times of this happening, another guest arrives, and this time he decides to sidle over to the side of my desk where you can see most of what’s behind the counter-top, and he can see more than just my upper half.)

Creepy Guy: “Mmm, I love being able to see your curves. I just want to reach over and grab your a**.”

(He says this quietly, intending for only me to hear, but the new guest manages to hear him, too. I give the guest a look, trying to show that I’m not comfortable with this guy being around and finish his check-in. He hurriedly leaves and doesn’t make any attempts to save me from this creep. I sigh over my problems. I’m feeling very exposed now that this guy is checking out my a**, and I fail to find any way to mentally cover myself up, other than to face him so he can’t continue staring. Now he goes in circles about trying to get me to kiss him, hug him, or let him grab my a**, all because it’s his “birthday.” Eventually, I get the idea to text my boyfriend, asking him to rescue me and telling him to call the hotel, which he doesn’t notice right away. I text my coworker and tell him to call the hotel, but he’s sleeping and doesn’t see it until he wakes up in time to get ready for his overnight shift after I leave. Finally, the boyfriend sees my text and tries to ask why and I just text, “DO NOW PLZ,” so the guy doesn’t notice.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel, Location]. How can I help you?”

Boyfriend: “What’s going on? Why did you need me to call? Everything okay?”

Me: “OH, HEY, HONEY! Did you feed the cats when you got home?”

(The creepy guy can clearly hear me, and seems to sulk slightly when he realizes I’m talking to my boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “Huh? What cats? Something going on?”

Me: “YES! It’s been a little busy today, but it’s quiet now that most of the guests have checked in. How was your day?”

Boyfriend: “I’m going to assume something is up. Are you in trouble or in any danger?”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Boyfriend: “All right, so, whoever they are is still there?”

Me: “Yep, it’s been a long time, too.”

Boyfriend: “Well, that doesn’t sound fun. Do you need me to come over there?”

Me: “That would be nice, though I’m not sure if it will help much.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I can stay on the line for a bit and see if they go away? Do you think your boss will get upset at you if I keep you on the phone?”

Me: “That’s fine, I think; I’m sure she wouldn’t mind after I explain everything to her.”

Boyfriend: “Ah, okay. Just let me know if they leave, or you can just say a code if you think you want me to head over there. Just ask me if we can go see a movie tonight, and I’ll know to head right over.”

Me: “Aww, that’s great! So, how’s mom doing?”

(From there, we just have a normal conversation for a bit until the creep decides to finally leave.)

Me: “Oh, my God, thank you! That weird guy I told you about decided to return to the hotel and come at me full force! He kept claiming it was his birthday, and he was trying to get me to kiss or hug him for the longest time. Then he started checking out my a** and saying he was going to jump over the counter to grab my a** and kiss me! At one point, he made a motion like he was actually going to pull himself over the counter until other people came through the lobby.”

Boyfriend: “You going to be okay? Want me to come over until your shift is over and I can pretend that I’m your ride?”

Me: *looks at the time and realizes I’ve been dealing with the guy for over two hours of constant harassment* “Oh, wow. My shift is nearly over. I think I’ll be okay; if he comes back I’ll have you give me another call and we can pretend that you have no clue what we need from the house for groceries or something.”

(Luckily, he never returned, but every time the Alabama team played at our stadium I got worried he would return.)

A Crappy Turn Of Events

, , , | Right | January 26, 2019

Manager: *whispering* “Someone pooped in the pool.”

Me: “What!”

Manager: “I know. I saw two little brown things and… yup, it was poop.”

Me: “Gross!”

(He calls the maintenance guy to come and scoop it out, and add some more chemicals. Later, after they have both left, I’m by myself checking a large group of high-schoolers, and they go and have a pool party. Things get out of had soon and they start skinny dipping, which is NOT allowed, but kids will be kids. After, they pass by my desk.)

High School Guy #1: “Wow, man. That was crazy, yo!”

High School Guy #2: “Yeah, did you see when they took off their clothes?”

(The girls from their group blush and giggle.)

Me: “Yeah, good thing that we cleaned that poop up before you skinny-dipped!”

(Their faces were priceless. The girls went to shower and the guys guffawed!)