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| Norway | Unfiltered

Our car broke down the night before we were travelling across southern Norway. Due to the stress from a broken car, getting a rental, packing and managing the cats, I (him) elegantly stepped in as the not-always-right when my better half (her) left open the confirmation e-mail from the hotel which stated “Check-in 3 pm.”

Clerk; Welcome to [hotel]. How can I help?

Me: Hi! I’m [me]. We have a reservation on [my better half].

Clerk: Ah, yes!

Me: I happened to see the confirmation with check in from 3pm. We haven’t left home yet since our car broke down, and we just picked up a rental, so we haven’t left yet and won’t be with you so early.

Clerk: Oh, no, that’s not it. Check in is not available before 3pm, not that you have to be here by then.

Me: ..ehm.. *facepalm* Of course! Sorry, and thank you so much!

Christmas Time, Mistletoe And Overtime, Part 2

| New Zealand | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Guest: “Oh, look at you, poor thing stuck on here Christmas Day.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not so bad. I’ll be finished by three pm so I can still have Christmas dinner.”

Guest: “Now that’s just terrible! How could they do that to their staff!?”

Me: “Well, not having me would certainly make checking in a lot harder now wouldn’t it?”

(She looks at me and her eyes widen.)

Guest: *head down* “I didn’t think of that.”

Weeding Out The Bad Guests

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging

(It is about two in the morning when I get a call from one of the rooms.)

Guest: “Excuse me, but I smell WEED! Someone’s smoking!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We are a non smoking hotel.”

Guest: *shrilly* “That’s it? Aren’t you going to go and catch the person who’s doing it? It’s illegal here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes it is, but it’s two in the morning and there’s no one here but me. I can’t leave the front desk and go about sniffing for who has done it.”

Guest: “Well, I never! This is unacceptable that you would support illegal practices here!”

Me: “We do not and the only thing I can do is apologize and offer to change your room.”

Guest: “I’m not moving. What else can you do? Surely there’s something?”

Me: “Like I said, I cannot figure out who is smoking, and everything will have to be done in the morning when the housekeepers are here so we can find out who is smoking in this non-smoking hotel.”

Guest: “So you can’t do anything about this?!”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

Guest: *begins screaming, and then finally hangs up*

(She called three times after that, ranting and raving, before finally going to sleep, I guess. I don’t smoke, so I don’t know if she was telling the truth or not. I leave a note for the managers about it, and the next day, I arrive for my shift and the manager is there.)

Me: “Did housekeepers ever find out which room was smoking?”

Manager: “Yes. Hers. Turns out her teen son was doing it in his room. She went ballistic at US instead of him… We threw them out and called the police.”