Our hotel has a little store where you can buy a snack, a drink, or a beer, etc. The store itself no bigger than a closet. There are no limits, but the most items I’ve seen anyone buy is five.

Me: “Hello.”

Lady: “Hello, I’d like to buy these. And these. And these.”

The lady brings over twenty items and ten bottles of beer and piles all of it on top of my computer and me.

Me: “Er, okay.”

I start counting.

Lady: “Do you have some plastic bag or a cart to take these in?”

Me: “Uh, no, we don’t, sorry. The only carts we have are the luggage carts.”

Lady: “Hell-lo? The luggage carts are for d*** luggage! Well, how the f*** am I supposed to take all these?!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, our little store isn’t a supermarket. Most people only buy a few things at a time.”

Lady: “Well, that’s just f****** stupid! Kids! Come help me with this stuff!”

Her five kids help her carry the stuff upstairs, each one throwing me a dirty look. The lady leaves some cash, but not enough, so I charge the rest to her room.

Next Customer: “Wow, some people think this is a grocery mart or something? Just these two items, please.”

Me: “Nooo problem.”

And yes, the lady complained about her room being charged even though she didn’t pay enough for the items!

I work in a hotel. We have a cold snap in August and a pipe bursts in our laundry room. Almost all of our clean laundry is now sopping wet, I have just taken a “shower” fully clothed to turn the water off, and the water has reached several rooms.

Of course, this happens around 2:00 am. Our manager and the restoration company are already there by 2:30 am and pumping the water out and drying the carpet in the hall. We start calling rooms by the laundry room to let them know and to let them know that we will be comping their rooms.

Most people are annoyed but understanding — thank you to those that are very sweet to me! Then, there is this guest…

Guest: “Well, this was not a very convenient time for this to happen!”

The guest is completely serious and snappy, but I am polite.

Me: “I understand, ma’am. We’ve comped your room. The manager would also like to offer you a free night at a later date. Do you need any help with any luggage? Was it damaged at all?”

Guest: “No! But still, this was very inconvenient!”

Me: *Thinking* “Sorry, next time we will schedule our floods better.”

Related:
A Flood Of Complaints

My family and I had just flown from the US to Ireland for a ten-day vacation. We were spread out over two hotels across the street from each other. Our flight came in at around five or six in the morning, so we were exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a bed and sleep.

My aunt and I were sharing rooms for the trip, so we checked in, went up to the room, and started to explore the room. We were having trouble figuring out how to turn the lights on. There were no wall switches, but some of the lamps had knobs. We tried turning them over and over and over, but no luck. We searched all around the room for a switch but came up empty.

My aunt went down to the front desk to ask about how to turn on the lights, and they told her it was on the wall. I found some odd-looking contraption on the wall near the door with what looked like a button. When I pressed the button, the lights came on, but as soon as I took my finger off, they turned back off.

We could not figure out how to keep them on, so we went back down to the desk. They were never rude to us, but you could tell they thought we were idiots who didn’t know how to operate a simple light. They came back to the room with us, took our key card, slid it into the contraption, and walked off. We stood there, dumbfounded.

We had never come across this in our one or two hotel stays a year in the US. We told my other uncle about our troubles that night at dinner. He, being a more seasoned traveler than us, chuckled at us, remembering his first time. Apparently, these key card contraptions to activate lights are in the US, but they are definitely not frequent.

A man comes in the early morning, around 9:00 am.

Guest: “I’d like to check in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but check-in time is not until 2:00 pm.”

Guest: “You don’t understand. I want to check in now.”

Me: “Do you have a reservation?”

Guest: “Of course, I do.”

I look for the man’s reservation and it turns out his arrival date was yesterday.

Me: “Sir, you’re supposed to have arrived yesterday.”

Guest: “So what? I had a reservation!”

Me: “So, that means if you don’t arrive on the day you’re expected to, your reservation turns into a no show, which means that it is freed for someone else to have, which is what has happened.”

Guest: *Interrupts* “This is ridiculous! None of that was explained to me! Look, I am tired, and I want my room!”

We were sold out and didn’t have any rooms, so I helped the man to find another hotel in the area. His way of thanking us? Throwing a fit and storming out!

To preface this, I have worked for several years at resorts in Central Florida. I was born overseas but came over to the US when I was four and was raised as an American. I have gotten a knack for imitating regional accents; most people don’t have any idea I was born anywhere else unless I tell them so.

This guy is not most people.

I have been assisting a family from the Midwest with some luggage issues over the course of their vacation, and on the last day of their visit, they come up to thank us. The father of the family walks up and addresses me in particular.

Me: “Is there anything else we can do to assist you?”

Guest: “Well, ya know what, son? I’ve been meanin’ to tell you something.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Guest: “You speak real good American.”

Everyone around me, including his own family, looks utterly flabbergasted and nervous that I will get offended.

I just put on my best smile and don’t skip a beat before replying in my best Old Florida drawl.

Me: “Well, after twenty-eight years here in the States, you just pick it right on up!”

You really do catch more flies — and tips — with honey than vinegar.