Going To Great Pains

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I work as a nurse for outpatient procedures. A patient has come in for a not-very-painful procedure, and has already received all of the drugs that we can safely give her for pain. This amount would have had a normal person sleeping by now.)

Patient: *screaming like she’s being tortured*

Me: “Oh, sweetheart, I know this is hard.”

(I put my hand in hers.)

Me: “Here. Try and breathe, and squeeze my hand.”

(She throws my hand away from her.)

Patient: “I don’t want your f****** hand. I WANT MY GODD*** DRUGS!”

Mind-Blowing Ignorance

| WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am an ER nurse. During the late morning, a man comes in with his son, who has a concussion. The policy is that a concussion patient isn’t allowed to sleep at all. The nurses and staff make sure the boy stays awake and notice that he keeps nodding off a little too easily.)

Me: “Excuse me, but why is your son so tired?”

Father: “Oh, he got his concussion in the wee hours of the morning and I just knew that he couldn’t fall asleep. So he’s been awake since then.”

Me: “Why didn’t you bring him in here right away?”

Father: “I didn’t know if you’d be open that early.”

Me: “This is the ER! We’re always open!”

A Hearty Breakfast

| Stuart, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Ms. [Name], I need to take your vital signs. Your heart monitor is alarming.”

Patient: “Do you ALWAYS interrupt people when they are eating their breakfast?!”

Me: “Yes. This is a hospital, not a hotel. The vitals are more important right now than your breakfast.”