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We’re All Tired, But None So Much As Healthcare Workers

, , , , | Healthy | March 12, 2022

I work in healthcare. When you enter our hospital, you have to wear a mask. Duh, we’re a hospital. But of course, people come here trying to act smart. Just because we’re a hospital, it doesn’t mean we’ll let anything slide. We know that those “health reasons” for not wearing a mask don’t fly. We know that it’s not a HIPAA violation to ask if you’re vaccinated. But of course, some patients want to act high and mighty and righteous and are just looking for a fight. Or they are plain ignorant.

We had a patient who was insistent that the health crisis wasn’t real, even though he’d had a lengthy stay in the hospital with the illness in question.

We had a patient get mad that his mother’s appointment was rescheduled because she tested positive for the illness. He was mad because she couldn’t get Botox injections for her crow’s feet.

And then, we had this patient who called in before his daughter’s appointment.

Patient: “My daughter has [illness]. I don’t want to get it, so I’ve locked her in her room and I’m making her mother take care of her. I’ve been using hand sanitizer every hour, on the hour, and I have UV lights hanging up everywhere in the house. Anyway, I have an appointment at [time].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ll have to reschedule it since someone in your household has [illness].”

He got angry.

Patient: “That’s ridiculous! I’m coming in anyway. I’ll just lie to your screeners at the front door!”

I added notes in his chart, marked “Important,” so he wouldn’t be able to.

Sometimes A Hairnet Is More Than Just A Hairnet

, , , , , , | Healthy | March 6, 2022

I had dreadful labour with my first child four years ago: forty-six unsuccessful hours where nothing went smoothly and which eventuated in an emergency caesarean under a general anaesthetic, followed by permanent nerve pain from the failed attempts of spinals and epidurals.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. I am in the hospital being prepped for a second (planned this time) caesarean.

Things are all a bit scary, due to last time being so… well, scary… and we’re in the middle of a health crisis, so I am quite tense. I am most nervous about the epidural, but if my nerves hold up, I’ll let them attempt once, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll take the general.

I’m being prepped in various ways, with bed socks, fifty questions, and various other things. There’s time to kill before I am called in, so the nurse is pretty chill and taking her time coming to and fro with whatever props she might need.

I need the restroom and I don’t know how much time I have before I go, so I steal a moment mid-prepping.

When I return, my husband is sitting where he was, on the far side of my bed. I sit and the nurse returns. She asks us to put our hairnets on. I look all over the bed, thinking I’ve lost mime, but I realise I’ve not been given one. Suddenly, my husband looks a bit flushed.

Husband: *Embarrassed* “They gave me two hairnets while you were in the restroom. I thought they were shoe covers.”

The nurse was sympathetic, though; she had a little chuckle, but I full-on cracked up. He turned beet red but laughed along with me. The nurse said they no longer need to wear them on their feet and gave us two fresh nets.

A little later, my husband had to wait outside while they were attempting to give me an epidural. My obstetrician was in front of me, understanding my intense fear of the epidural, when I suddenly remembered the hairnets.

I chuckled to myself and my obstetrician looked confused. I had to tell her what my husband had done, and she laughed, too.

And just like that, the epidural was a success.

To this day, I don’t think what he did was that funny, but I don’t think that’s the point. The point is the fact that it was exactly what I needed at that moment, and so it still makes me laugh.

Stupid Or Scammer? We May Never Know.

, , , , | Working | March 3, 2022

I work in a hospital. I receive a call at work from an outside number. We mostly receive internal calls, but sometimes staff or patients call from their personal phones, instead.

Me: “EEG department, [My First Name] speaking.”

I just hear a crackling sound.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yes, hello. I am calling from federal tax remediation.”

Me: “I’m sorry? You’re calling from where?”

Although it seems unlikely, I want to make sure I haven’t misheard and it’s not actually some sub-department of billing.

Caller: “From federal tax remediation. I need to speak to you about your—”

Me: *Cutting him off* “I’m sorry. I don’t think this call is meant for me.”

Caller: “No, this call is absolutely for you. We are calling about remediation for your federal tax return. Your return—”

Me: “Sir, you have called a hospital.”

Caller: “Ohhhh…”

Me: “Yeah. Goodbye.”

I hung up. I’m not sure how he expected to convince me the call was for me when he clearly wasn’t paying attention to my introduction.

How Can The Health Crisis Be Real If Hospitals Aren’t Real

, , , | Right | February 25, 2022

I work at a hospital. A guy refused to listen to us about our mask policy.

Patient: “[Health crisis] isn’t real!”

The dude had spent a LENGTHY AMOUNT OF TIME in the hospital recently for that particular illness. If that illness isn’t real, I wonder why he thought he was in the hospital for weeks.

We’re So Exhausted On Your Behalf

, , , , , | Healthy | February 25, 2022

The lack of support from security at my hospital is insane. We have limited visitation due to rising health crisis cases.

Once, a whole family showed up when a patient was really only allowed one person. On top of it, they refused to follow the masking rules. How they got by screening, I’ll never know. Even if they wore masks downstairs, there’s no way a whole group should’ve been let up.

And when staff confronted them on the floor, they threatened to get violent with the nurses. When security finally showed up, they talked to the family for maybe ten minutes and didn’t even escort them out, saying, “They promised to leave in five minutes.” What a joke.

My favorite is [health crisis]-positive patients refusing to stay in their rooms and threatening to walk the halls to give everyone their illness, coughing in your face if you argue with them.

Then, there was an old man refusing to pull up his mask when asked, saying, “Honey, I would if I could,” rolling his eyes, and walking away. Surely, it’s more uncomfortable and inconvenient to wear it improperly?

I have more stories than I could possibly recount.