I worked as a ward assistant at a teaching veterinary hospital. Some of the vet students were incredibly book-smart but had never developed any common sense. Then, there was this student.

I was refilling the treatment trolleys in the open-plan treatment area while one of the vet students was cleaning up after a procedure. One of the residents came through making clicking, whistling, and just generally encouraging noises to the very large dog she was leading. 

Student: “Why are you whistling? It’s not a horse.”

Resident: “Oh, he’s blind.”

Student: “Ahhh! He can’t hear you.”

I was waiting to pick up someone at the hospital, and I watched a guy back his truck into a Cadillac parked in the spots reserved for people there for cancer treatments. It left a decent dent in the Cadillac, too. This garbage human got out of his truck, looked at the dent, got back into his truck, and drove off.

Dude, you are stupid. Four people saw you do that, took photos of you doing it, signed witness statements, and provided our information and photos of you, your truck, and your license plate to the owner of the Cadillac.

One, you aren’t getting away with anything when everyone has a camera in their pocket, and two, the owner of that car had enough on their plate without dealing with the police and a hit-and-run insurance claim.

I’m waiting for my lunch in the hospital cafeteria when a man wearing hospital scrubs comes up to the till nearby. These scrubs are typically reserved for people who work in autopsy or in surgery — and I know he doesn’t work in autopsy, because I do.

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve received the wrong sandwich. I ordered a Denver sandwich.”

Staff: *Looks at the sandwich* “That is a Denver sandwich?”

Customer: “Oh, right, I meant I ordered a Denver sandwich but I wanted a Reuben.”

Staff: “Okay, so you’d like to order a Reuben sandwich?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to get charged twice. I just want to switch the sandwiches.”

Staff: “So… You want to return the Denver and exchange it for a different sandwich?”

Customer: “Yes, is that okay?”

The staff member stares blankly for a moment at the man’s inability to recognize what is wrong here.

Staff: “I’ll have to talk to my manager about it. It was your mistake so we’re supposed to charge you for a new order.

Customer: “No, I know I made a mistake, but I don’t want to pay twice. Can’t you make me a new sandwich and just take this one?”

At that point, the manager stepped in.

After being brought up to speed, she sighed and said they would do it just this one time. The man didn’t seem to understand at all what the issue was. I was mostly amused that someone who makes a decent salary was so against the idea of paying for his own mistake when it was such an affordable one and shocked that he clearly didn’t see any issue with what he did.

I need to get nasal surgery for the second time; when I lay down, my nose completely closes. I am in my room, waiting to be taken to the room to be prepped, just watching TV. The nurse comes in.

Nurse: “I’m sorry, but it looks like your surgery will be delayed a half-hour. The doctor is still in the middle of another surgery.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

I continue watching TV and send my mum a text to let her know it was delayed since she will be picking me up later. About forty-five minutes later, the nurse returns.

Nurse: “I’m so sorry. Another patient accidentally pulled out their gastronomy tube. It’s the tube that goes from the side directly to the stomach, and it’s an emergency. So… it’ll be a little while longer. Is that all right?”

Me: *Staring in shock* “That’s fine! Life-saving things come first. I know I would want it that way for me if something went wrong.” *Pauses* “How many people say no and throw a fit over saving someone else’s life?”

Nurse: “You’re so sweet, thank you! And… you really don’t want to know.”

They told me the patient was doing well, and my own surgery went off without a hitch once I was in there.

When I was five or six years old, I was taken to the hospital with a fever of 104.8 F (40.4 C). I had bronchitis and a UTI at the same time. I was there for a few days — over Halloween weekend — because I was so young and those were both severe.

My parents brought me a couple of gifts and then tried trick-or-treating on my behalf. They’d explain and some people gave them some candy, but most didn’t believe them and refused. I would’ve been thrilled with a bubble wand!

The upside to this story is that one year, my dad and stepmom grossly overestimated how much candy they’d need for trick-or-treaters, and my dad, remembering my experience a few years before, did one of the only decent things he ever did and took all the leftovers to the children’s ward at the local hospital and passed it out (with approval from parents and doctors/nurses) to those kids.