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Where’s A Real Live Robot When You Need One, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Technology

Me: “Good morning, my name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

(Pause.)

Patient: *very slowly and clearly* “Um… request an appointment?”

Me: “Oh… I’m not a computer, ma’am.”

Patient: *shocked* “Oh! Goodness.”

Related:

Where’s A Real Live Robot When You Need One

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Nil By Brain

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I am waiting to get a cat scan and MRI at the hospital when I overhear the following:)

Nurse: “Did you get the instructions to prepare for the tests?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Did you see where it said that you can’t eat or drink before testing?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Have you eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

(The nurse is called away and the man sits facing a sign that says if you have eaten anything your test may need to be rescheduled. A new nurse approaches.)

Nurse #2: “Did you eat breakfast today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you drink anything?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you take any medicine?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even ibuprofen?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “So you haven’t eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even water?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “And you haven’t taken any medicine?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

Nurse #2: “Okay.” *turns to leave*

Patient: “But I drank some milk when I took my medicine. And then I ate a plate of eggs.”

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Where Else Would You Egg-spect Them To Come From?

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m an ER nurse and I am talking to one of my patients about my farm back home.)

Me: “Yeah, I have chickens and they’re about to—”

Patient: “What do you have chickens for?”

Me: “They lay fresh eggs that my family and I can eat.”

Patient: “You eat the eggs out of a chicken’s butt!?”

Me: “Uh… where do you think eggs come from?”

Patient: “I buy mine from the store. They’re store eggs!”

Me: “Those come out of a chicken’s butt, too.”

Patient: “But… but you said the ones you have are brown. The ones I get are white.”

Me: “Yeah… some chickens lay white eggs and other lay brown. That’s not how—”

Patient: “I guess I’m just never having eggs again… like, ever. That’s disgusting.”