Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

A Wee Bit Of A Problem

, , , , | Right | October 28, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I help you?””

Caller: “I would like to know where people go to buy those cups.”

Me: What kind of cups are you looking for, sir?”

Caller: “Sample cups.”

Me: “Sample cups? Do you mean like for a urine sample?”

Caller: “Yeah! I need quite a few.”

Me: “I guess you could get them at a medical supply company. Have you tried that?”

Caller: “Oh, boy! Thank you, lady! You have helped me so much! See, I am looking for work and most places require a urine test. I want to have my samples all ready to go!”

When Just Being A Doctor Isn’t Cool Enough

, | Right | September 10, 2010

(I work in a hospital kitchen with an adjoining cafeteria. A doctor pokes his head in the door and calls attention to himself. I stop what I’m doing to help him.)

Doctor: “Excuse me, the coolers in the cafeteria are all turned off. Could you please turn them on?”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing in them right now. We’re still making the food. It would be a waste of electricity to turn on an empty cooler.”

Doctor: “But I’m a doctor.”

Me: “I… I know that.”

Doctor: “If you know, then why won’t you turn them on?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t turn them on. There’s no need.”

Doctor: *pauses* “But I’m a doctor.”

Me: “Sir–”

Doctor: “I’m a doctor!”

Me: “Okay, I can turn them on.”

(I walk into the cafeteria with him and flip the switches on the empty coolers.)

Doctor: “Thank you.”

(He walks away empty-handed, apparently satisfied.)

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I turned the coolers off again and went back to the kitchen.)

Scareware Makes Us Aware

, , , , , , | Right | July 29, 2010

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Patient: “Um. I think I have an STI.”

Me: “Okay. What symptoms do you have that make you think that?”

Patient: “Well, I don’t really know. My computer told me to be here.”

Me: “Oh, did you do a self-analysis online?”

Patient: “No. I’m not sure. I’m here; I need to be here!”

Me: “Exactly what did your computer tell you?”

Patient: “Don’t judge me! Stop it! I need to be here!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am not judging you. Can you explain to me exactly what happened before you came here?”

Patient: “Well, I was looking at some [adult websites] last night online and this morning I turned my computer on and it told me I have a virus!”

Me: “Uh.”

Patient: “Stop judging me!”


This story is part of the Technologically-Challenged roundup!

Read the next Technologically-Challenged roundup story!

Read the Technologically-Challenged roundup!

No Longer An Eye For An Eye

, , , | Right | May 12, 2010

(I have just found a spare eyeglass case for one of our doctors.)

Doctor: “Thanks, what do I owe you?”

Me: “Eh, don’t worry about it. We usually charge, but I’ve got you covered, my friend.”

Doctor: “Oh! I guess next time you need a prostate exam I’ll try and hook you up.”

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | February 21, 2010

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can I speak to the butcher department, please?”

Me: “The butcher department?”

Customer: “Yeah, I decided I don’t want the big turkey anymore.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this is the city morgue.”


This story is part of our Hilarious Wrong Number roundup!

Read the next Hilarious Wrong Number roundup story!

Read the Hilarious Wrong Number roundup!