Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 3

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(While checking in on a patient…)

Me: “Do you know the name of your primary care doctor?”

Patient: “Oh, I don’t remember that.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about them? The name of the practice, or what street it’s on?”

Patient: “It’s either a man or a woman.”

Me: “I see…”

Related:
Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 2
Well, That Narrows It Down

Cardiac Unrest

| Arizona, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

(I work in an ER and I am checking in a patient who needs a cardiac procedure.)

Patient: “You have an accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Patient: *disgusted* “South AFRICA? Oh, well I’m sure they wouldn’t have hired you unless you were properly educated.”

Me: “I assure you, I have a good education. The cardiologist will be in to see you shortly.”

(As I’m walking out, the cardiologist walks in and introduces himself to the patient.)

Patient: “Oh, you have an accent, too. Where are you from?”

Doctor: “South Africa.”

Patient: *horrified*

A Wick-ed Accident

| Valencia, Spain | Bizarre, Health & Body, Top

(My friend is a nurse at a local hospital.)

Patient: “My belly is hurting me.”

My Friend: “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll sort it out.”

(My friend proceeds to do a routine examination on the patient. Whenever she touches the patient’s abdomen, he suffers from a lot of pain. They take him to the x-ray room for scans.)

My Friend: “Sir, it appears you have… um… three candles lodged in your rectum. Do you have any idea how this happened?”

Patient: “Well… er… I was carrying an armful of candles down some stairs and I tripped and…” *trails off into silence*

My Friend: “So, you fell on a candle.”

Patient: “Yes.”

My Friend: “Then you fell again, on another candle.”

Patient: “Yes.”

My Friend: “And then once more, on yet another candle.”

Patient: “That’s what happened!