Inject Some Humor Into The Situation

| USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am four years old, and in need of vaccinations. The nurse is babying me about it.)

Me: “Just do it; I’m not scared.”

(I have the vaccination with no problem.)

Nurse: “Wow, you’re one of the toughest kids I’ve met.”

Me: “Really? It’s nothing.”

Nurse: “Oh, you are tough. Half of the kids your age come in crying.”

Me: “Because they’re babies! I’m not.”

Nurse: “Let me tell you something. I have a friend who is also a nurse. A 40-year-old man needed an injection and he cried for 10 minutes before he calmed down enough for her to inject him. And he cried after she stuck him too.”

Me: “Really?!”

Nurse: “Yeah. I wish he could have seen you.”

Make Appoint To Forget

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Health & Body

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hospital]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “I need to cancel an appointment I have today.”

Me: “All right, let’s verify your information and then we’ll look at the appointment.”

(As the patient verifies everything, I note he is 25 years old, the appointment is urgent, and was made earlier that day. He has already spoken to a nurse as well.)

Me: “Okay. I see the appointment with [Doctor] at [time], and you want me to cancel it?”

Patient: “Yes. Oh, and can you tell me what the appointment was for? I can’t remember.”

(I hover over the cancel button as I tell the patient.)

Me: “Sir, it is for forgetfulness. Are you sure you want to cancel?”

Patient: *silent for a moment* “Yes, go ahead and cancel it.”

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”

Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2