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Nil By Brain

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I am waiting to get a cat scan and MRI at the hospital when I overhear the following:)

Nurse: “Did you get the instructions to prepare for the tests?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Did you see where it said that you can’t eat or drink before testing?”

Patient: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Have you eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

(The nurse is called away and the man sits facing a sign that says if you have eaten anything your test may need to be rescheduled. A new nurse approaches.)

Nurse #2: “Did you eat breakfast today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you drink anything?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Did you take any medicine?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even ibuprofen?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “So you haven’t eaten or drank anything today?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “Not even water?”

Patient: “No.”

Nurse #2: “And you haven’t taken any medicine?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t.”

Nurse #2: “Okay.” *turns to leave*

Patient: “But I drank some milk when I took my medicine. And then I ate a plate of eggs.”

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Where Else Would You Egg-spect Them To Come From?

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m an ER nurse and I am talking to one of my patients about my farm back home.)

Me: “Yeah, I have chickens and they’re about to—”

Patient: “What do you have chickens for?”

Me: “They lay fresh eggs that my family and I can eat.”

Patient: “You eat the eggs out of a chicken’s butt!?”

Me: “Uh… where do you think eggs come from?”

Patient: “I buy mine from the store. They’re store eggs!”

Me: “Those come out of a chicken’s butt, too.”

Patient: “But… but you said the ones you have are brown. The ones I get are white.”

Me: “Yeah… some chickens lay white eggs and other lay brown. That’s not how—”

Patient: “I guess I’m just never having eggs again… like, ever. That’s disgusting.”

An Unhealthy Attitude

| WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work at a gym and am currently staffing a booth at a health event at the local hospital. The majority of the people attending have been the hospital staff and all have been very pleasant.)

Me: *to a passing nurse* “Would you like to enter a chance to win a free membership?”

Nurse: *looks at me like I asked her to murder puppies* “I WON’T EVER SET FOOT IN A HEALTH CLUB! THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND DIRTY AND FULL OF GERMS!” *storms off*

Me: *to my coworker* “Does she not realize she works in a hospital?”

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