Making You Work ½ As Hard

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2019

I work at a fish processing plant. People come to us with fish, both privately caught and commercial, and we cut them up and put the parts in vacuum bags. We work on a three-part assembly line: two people cut the fish, four people pack them into bags, and one packs them with two industrial packers. We usually deal with halibut, salmon, and rockfish.

The typical order is around fifty pounds of fish, and we pack them into bags of varying sizes: #½, #1, #1½, and #2, with filets going in larger custom-size bags. The vast majority of orders are #1, and although we can do multi-size orders, it is uncommon. #½ is almost never heard of, and we only ever stock fifty or so bags. Sometimes the customer orders us to clean off the fish with rags, but that slows down the line to a crawl.

One customer comes in with a hundred pounds of salmon, fifty pounds of rockfish, and a full hundred-and-forty-pound halibut.

They want half of the salmon in filets — cleaned with a rag —  twenty-five #1 bags and twenty-five #2 bags, they wanted the rockfish in #2 bags — inconvenient for such a small fish — and they wanted us to filet a hundred-and-forty-pound, six-foot freaking halibut, and put it in two-hundred-eighty #½ bags.

It took us three hours to process one order. The average is thirty minutes.

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Unfiltered Story #95698

, , | Unfiltered | September 25, 2017

I am coming out of the Mcdonalds drive through, preparing to park to eat my food. There is a customer in the parking lot patked in the most inconvenient way possible, taking up four parking spaces with their oversized truck. A “vote hillary 2016” sticker covered the back window in a way that i am sure breaks some code. I try to talk to her as i drive by.

Me: Ma’am, you aren’t suposed to park like that.

Her: *flips me off* F*** YOU!

Me: if a cop saw you he would ticket you.

Her: F*** YOU!

I drive to a different parking spot and eat my food. There are about 13 crows outside my car so i start feeding them (you arent suposed too, but i was bored). All of the crows fly off, and suddenly i am scared out of my socks as the manager of the mcdonalds knocks on my car door.

Me: I wasnt feeding birds!

Manager: a customer just told us you insulted her mother and threatened to call the cops on her for her political sticker.

Me: Ummmm….. no

I proceded to tell her the story and we both had a good laugh.