(I am working in my home office, which is next to my sister’s room. It is late at night.)
Sister: *mumbling incoherently* “But [my name], we need to put the rooms inside the hotel, or there’ll be trouble.”
Me: *quite confused* “Okay?”
(I wait a few moments, and then think to ask.)
Me: “Are you talking in your sleep?”
Sister: “No. I’m telling you!”
(My boyfriend and I are snuggling on the couch. I want to say ‘I love you’ for the first time in our relationship.)
Me: “Honey?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah?”
Me: “I…”
(I chicken out.)
Boyfriend: “Yes?”
Me: “Um…I…”
(I chicken out again.)
Boyfriend: *looking puzzled* “Come on, spit it out.”
Me: “Oh, never mind. I can’t. I thought I could, but I can’t, so just forget I said anything.”
(I look back at the television, then turn back to him.)
Me: *almost angrily* “But, I DO, though!”
Boyfriend: *chuckles* “I love you, too.”
Me: “Oh, crap. Now I HAVE to say it!”
(My fiancé and I are standing in the kitchen, talking about what we should buy at the grocery store. We’ve decided to go on a diet.)
Me: *joking* “I bet we’ll do this, and you will lose a bunch of weight and I won’t lose any!”
Fiancé: “I’m sure we both will, if we stick with it. And I would never leave you just because of your weight! If that’s how I felt, I could have done that a long time ago!”
(I tease my boyfriend about always wearing white shirts. Today he has a different shade on.)
Me: “Wow, you have a beige shirt on today!”
Boyfriend: “No, it’s light brown.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure it’s beige. It’s too light to be light brown!”
Boyfriend: “It’s light brown! Beige is just a lie.”
(He does the Jedi hand gesture.)
Me: “These aren’t the droids I’m looking for.”
(It is morning, and my 3-year-old daughter saunters into our room when she wakes up, as usual. She climbs into bed.)
Daughter: “I want breakfast! Daddy! Get me breakfast!”
Me: “Okay, give me a minute.”
(A few seconds pass.)
Daughter: “Daddy, you’re the goodest builder in the whole world!”
Me: “Um, thank you sweetie.”
Daughter: “You build things for everybody who needs them! You’re the best builder ever! Anyone who ever needs anything built, you can build it for them.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Daughter: “The BEST builder in the whole world! And if anyone wants breakfast, you can get them breakfast!”
Me: “Very subtle.”
Daughter: “You’re the BEST builder in the whole world. You can build anything for anyone…”
(This continues until I get out of bed to get her breakfast.)
