(I text my boyfriend to tell him about the tiny table I have replaced my desk with.)

Me: “My table is so cute!”

Him: “Lol. Which one?”

Me: “My little kitchen-y table. It’s so little and cute, and it comes with chairs!”

Him: “That’s why I like you!”

Me: “I’m cute, and I come with chairs?”

Him: “Exactly.”

Mom: “Can you get the lasagne out of the oven?”

(I do so, and see that it is penne covered in cheese.)

Me: “This isn’t lasagne. It’s penne.”

Mom: “Oh, any pasta baked in the oven is called lasagne!”

(My dad’s birthday is five days before mine. We are having some of his left-over cake the day after his birthday.)

Mom: “We’ll need to go and pick up a cake for Sue’s birthday.”

Dad: “What for? We still have plenty of mine left.”

(Mom got me the cake.)

Him: *looking at me* “You’re gorgeous.”

Me: “Do you think you’ll still say that when I’m 60 and wrinkled?”

Him: “I think my cataracts would have formed by then, so…yes.”

Husband: “You look like the Joker.”

Me: *blank stare*

Husband: “Because you’re wearing purple and green.”

Me: *blank stare*

Husband: *pause* “You look nice.”