(My boyfriend and I are cuddling, and have become somewhat entangled.)
Boyfriend: “It’s like earthworm love!”
(Affronted, I draw back.)
Boyfriend: “You know, because they entwine themselves.”
Me: “You could hardly have said something that would make me feel less cuddly.”
Boyfriend: “I’m sorry! I love you!” *pause* “You’re way hotter than an earthworm, anyway!”
(My parents have been redoing the kitchen for about a year now, and I still find myself wondering where things go when I come home on the occasional weekend from school.)
Me: “Mom, where do you guys keep the measuring cups? I don’t remember.”
Mom: “Oh, don’t worry about forgetting. You don’t really live here.”
Me: “Wow, thanks, Mom. I feel so loved.”
(My husband and I were born 5 days apart. Just after midnight, my husband comes up to me, and gives me a hug and kiss.)
Husband: “Happy birthday.”
Me: “Aw! Thank you! I lov—”
Husband: “You’re now a year older than me!”
(He happy dances off to the kitchen for a drink.)
Me: “You know that—”
Husband: “Shush! Let me enjoy these 5 days when I’m married to an ‘older woman’!”
(My boyfriend and I mostly relax by watching TV on my laptop.)
Me: “Oh, there’s a new show we can watch.”
Boyfriend: “What’s it about?”
Me: “There’s like a guy, and he does things, like, and then stuff happens?”
Boyfriend: “You mean Awake?”
Me: “YES! Whoa, how did you figure that out? You can follow my crazy brain?!”
(My boyfriend has been talking about how he played the YuGi-Oh card game back in school. I start laughing.)
Boyfriend: “Psh. How many nerds do you know that played it, and look like this?”
Me: “Including you?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah.”
Me: “None.”
Boyfriend: “Exactl…wait.”
