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I’ve Got A Bed Feeling About This

| Romantic | November 3, 2011

(My boyfriend and me have only been together for about 2 months. We are cuddling in bed after a romantic day out.)

Boyfriend: “Sweetheart, I love you!”

Me: “I love you, too!”

Boyfriend: “I know…”

Me: “…what?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I always wanted to quote Han Solo. You know the scene, when princess Leia tells him just before he freezes himself, don’t you?”

Me: *speechless*

Boyfriend: “This just seemed to be the perfect moment!”

Ain’t That A Kick In The Pants

| Romantic | November 2, 2011

(I’m reading when I hear my boyfriend scream.)

Me: “What happened?”

Boyfriend: “I hit my forehead!”

Me: “Aww, here’s a kiss. ”

(I kiss him on the forehead.)

Boyfriend: “You know, I also hit my crotch…”

Must Be Good (And Gassy) With Animals

| Romantic | October 31, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are watching the TV together, along with his golden retriever, Leo. Leo is a rather gassy dog and often makes big, oddly human burps.)

Leo: *large burp*

Boyfriend: *even larger burp*

Me: *speechless*

Boyfriend: “Your move, Leo.”

This story is part of our Golden Retriever roundup!

Read the next Golden Retriever roundup story!

Read the Golden Retriever roundup!

And Fatheaded Men, Too

| Romantic | October 30, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are talking about Chinese wedding dresses after a friend of his got married.)

Me: “If we ever get married, I’m gonna have to get one made here before we go.”

Boyfriend: “Why? They do sell them there.”

Me: “Well, yes, but I’m not exactly shaped like a Chinese girl. ”

Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s okay. We have fat girls in China too!”

(For the record, I was referring to the fact that I have a decently sized chest. I did end up marrying him and found the one dress that fit me, too!)

Til Deaf Do Us Part

| Romantic | October 28, 2011

(My mom is deaf in one ear, so she can’t hear very well. My dad takes advantage for fun, but he’s starting to go deaf too.)

Mom: *sneezes*

Dad: “Shut up!”

Mom: “Thank you!”

Dad: “You’re welcome. See? This is why I married this woman.”

Me: *stifling a laugh* “Dad, what are you going to do when you start losing your hearing?”

Dad: “Huh?”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “Oh god, never mind. You two are perfect for each other.”

Dad: “Huh?”

Mom: “What’d he say?”

Dad: “What’d you say?”

Mom: “Huh?”

Dad: “What?”

(I slam my head on my desk out of frustration.)

Mom: “Why’s he slamming his head on the table?”

Dad: “I dunno.”

Mom: “What?”