(My boyfriend and me have only been together for about 2 months. We are cuddling in bed after a romantic day out.)
Boyfriend: “Sweetheart, I love you!”
Me: “I love you, too!”
Boyfriend: “I know…”
Me: “…what?”
Boyfriend: “Well, I always wanted to quote Han Solo. You know the scene, when princess Leia tells him just before he freezes himself, don’t you?”
Me: *speechless*
Boyfriend: “This just seemed to be the perfect moment!”
(I’m reading when I hear my boyfriend scream.)
Me: “What happened?”
Boyfriend: “I hit my forehead!”
Me: “Aww, here’s a kiss. ”
(I kiss him on the forehead.)
Boyfriend: “You know, I also hit my crotch…”
(My boyfriend and I are watching the TV together, along with his golden retriever, Leo. Leo is a rather gassy dog and often makes big, oddly human burps.)
Leo: *large burp*
Boyfriend: *even larger burp*
Me: *speechless*
Boyfriend: “Your move, Leo.”
This story is part of our Golden Retriever roundup!
Read the next Golden Retriever roundup story!
Read the Golden Retriever roundup!
(My boyfriend and I are talking about Chinese wedding dresses after a friend of his got married.)
Me: “If we ever get married, I’m gonna have to get one made here before we go.”
Boyfriend: “Why? They do sell them there.”
Me: “Well, yes, but I’m not exactly shaped like a Chinese girl. ”
Boyfriend: “Oh, it’s okay. We have fat girls in China too!”
(For the record, I was referring to the fact that I have a decently sized chest. I did end up marrying him and found the one dress that fit me, too!)
(My mom is deaf in one ear, so she can’t hear very well. My dad takes advantage for fun, but he’s starting to go deaf too.)
Mom: *sneezes*
Dad: “Shut up!”
Mom: “Thank you!”
Dad: “You’re welcome. See? This is why I married this woman.”
Me: *stifling a laugh* “Dad, what are you going to do when you start losing your hearing?”
Dad: “Huh?”
Mom: “What?”
Me: “Oh god, never mind. You two are perfect for each other.”
Dad: “Huh?”
Mom: “What’d he say?”
Dad: “What’d you say?”
Mom: “Huh?”
Dad: “What?”
(I slam my head on my desk out of frustration.)
Mom: “Why’s he slamming his head on the table?”
Dad: “I dunno.”
Mom: “What?”
