(While playing with our daughter, my husband sees that her nose is a little runny.)
Husband: “Honey, come here. We need to wipe your nose.”
Daughter: “That’s okay, daddy. I have a Kleenex tongue.”
(Which she then proceeded to use.)
(My 50+ year old parents frequently try to make jokes about popular books, music, and TV shows. My mother is currently teasing me about my dislike of bright sunlight.)
Mom: “Are you a vampire? Should I start calling you Herman?”
Me: “Edward…?”
Mom: “Close enough.”
Did you find this story using our Vampire roundup?
(My husband and I have decided to start a family in the fall. We’re both excited and a little scared. He’s been pretty vocal about how nervous he is.)
Me: “I can’t believe it’s almost July! Then my birthday. Then babies!”
Husband: “Yup.”
Me: “Are you scared?”
Husband: “Yeah.”
Me: “Me too, but excited-scared. Are you excited, scared or ‘fake-your-own-death-to-get-out-of-it’ scared?
(Note: he’s just gotten an awesome new computer to play ‘Diablo III’.)
Husband: “Excited, scared. Plus, if I faked my own death, I’d have to leave my computer behind!”
(My sister is playing the new ‘Sims’ game for the first time. She is used to the older versions of Sims, so she is nervous about the new gameplay interface. My sister panics easily under pressure.)
Me: “Okay, if you want to buy stuff for your house, open the Build and Buy menu.”
Sister: *opens menu* “Oh, okay.”
Me: “It’s pretty self explanatory from there, so I’m going to go help daddy for a little while.”
(I come back 10 minutes later.)
Sister: *shouting* “There you are!”
Me: “What?”
Sister: *still shouting* “Where are the counters!”
Me: “Open the catalog.”
Sister: *continuing to shout* “Where are the chairs?! Where’s the garbage cans?”
Me: “Just go through the cata—”
Sister: *interrupting* “I kept selling things by accident and I didn’t know what I sold!”
Me: “Just calmly go through the item catalog—”
Sister: *interrupting* “I THINK I SOLD ONE OF MY SIMS BY ACCIDENT!”
(We are watching ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’.)
Me: “What would you do if you woke up to me being thrown around the room and being stabbed to death by Freddy?”
Boyfriend: “Youtube it.”
