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I Know Kung Poo

| Romantic | January 9, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are watching TV on his computer. He shifts over to my side of the bed to fart.)

Me: “Why?! Why would you do this?!”

(My boyfriend is laughing too hard to respond.)

Me: “When you’re asleep in the middle of the night, I should roll over and fart on you!”

Boyfriend: *completely serious* “Don’t fart what you can’t finish.”

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Can You Smell The Love Tonight

| Romantic | January 8, 2012

(My fiancé and I are sitting on the sofa in our living room hugging watching TV.)

Me: “I love you.”

Fiancé: “Nope!”

(I look at him confused.)

Me:“What do you mean, nope?”

Fiancé: “Wait, what did you say?”

Me: “I said, I love you.”

Fiancé: “Oh, I thought you asked if I’d farted.”

 

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Spilling The Truth

| Related | January 7, 2012

Sister: “We need to give the cat a bath.”

Her husband: “Why?”

Sister: “Because, she’s all sticky! How’d she get so sticky?”

Her husband: “I think one of us spilled soda on the cat.”

Sister: “One of us?”

Her husband: *long pause*I spilled soda on the cat.”

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Whistle Dismissal

| Romantic | January 7, 2012

Me: *stops whistling ‘Congratulations’ by Cliff Richard* “Oh, sorry honey. I wasn’t mocking you because you can’t whistle.”

My husband: *fake whistle noise* “Hoo!”

Me: *whistles some more of ‘Congratulations’* “Now I’m mocking you.”

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Left Hand Doesn’t Know What The Right Hand Is Doing

| Related | January 6, 2012

(I’m feeling a bit left out. I don’t think my 2-year old toddler takes after me at all, but he does take after his father. My son is playing with a dinosaur toy, and deliberately makes the dinosaur bite his own hand. He then says ‘Ow!’, reacting very surprised that it hurt.)

Me: “Right. That’s how he takes after me.”

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