(My boyfriend likes to push my buttons and annoy me because he thinks I’m cute when I’m annoyed. He always knows when to stop and knows how to make it up to me. He’s just started to aggravate me on purpose again.)
Boyfriend: “I want a harem.”
Me: “What!?”
Boyfriend: “Hundreds of women!”
Me: “Why!? Am I not good enough for you?”
Boyfriend: “No! You see, I was born into a materialistic culture. So, obviously I have to have something incredibly amazing and then be horribly unsatisfied with it!”
Me: “Well, how about you just go ahead… I see what you did there.”
Boyfriend: “What ever are you talking about?”
Me: “The hidden compliment. I forgive you now.”
(My boyfriend and I both really hate laundry, so it tends to pile up. We both have a day off, so we’ve decided to wash all of our laundry, including sheets and blankets. One quilt in particular is impossible to dry in the dryers, so my boyfriend hangs it across two of the posts on our 4-poster bed.)
Me: *staring at the quilt* “Hey babe? Know what I think we should do?”
Boyfriend: “I hope you are thinking blanket fort, because if you are I love you so much!”.
(We totally built it, complete with nerf guns and a plastic sword for defence. It was the best end to a laundry day ever!)
(My husband and I are laying in bed watching a movie. He suddenly dives underneath the duvet and starts poking at my knickers.)
Me: “What are you doing?”
Husband: “No, don’t look! I’m typing in my pin number!”
(I am about 3 years old. I am out with my mom and her car breaks down in the neighborhood. This old couple lets us stay in their house until the tow truck comes for my mom’s car. Naturally, I go looking around.)
Old lady: “That’s a bird bath out there.”
(I peer through the window quite hard, before turning to my mother.)
Me: “But where are their towels?”
(My husband and I are watching ‘Downton Abbey’ in our room, when my sister comes home.)
Sister: “What are you watching?”
Me: “Downton Abbey is a British TV drama about a rich family set in 1912.”
Sister: “But, it’s in color…”
