(My four-year-old sister has just come home from her first and only Sunday School day as a guest of one of her school friends for the Easter celebrations. My parents are atheists, so we don’t really attend many religious functions.)
Dad: *to my sister* “So, how did you like Sunday School?”
Sister: “It was quite fun, and we got to sing lots of songs. But there was an awful lot about God!”
(I’m visiting home during the weekend. My boyfriend and I are sitting in my car, spending a few more minutes together before I have to drive back to school.)
Boyfriend: “I’m sleepy.” *closes his eyes*
Me: “Don’t close your eyes. You’ll fall asleep.”
Boyfriend: “But I’m sleepy.”
Me: “But then I can’t spend time with you before I go.”
Boyfriend: “I’m not sleeping. I’m just thinking really really hard.”
Me: “What are you thinking about?”
Boyfriend: “Sleeping.”
(I am on the phone, helping my mother post on a social networking website’s wall. She is trying to leave a picture on my boyfriend’s wall for his birthday. I have already walked her through the steps of getting the HTML copied for the picture, and have now directed her to his wall to leave the post.)
Me: “Okay, mom. So now you right click, then click ‘paste’ and then hit the button to post it.”
Mom: “I don’t see paste.”
Me: “Try again. Right click, then select paste, then hit post.”
Mom: “Okay, I hit post, but I don’t think it worked.”
Me: “Did the picture show up?”
Mom: “No, let me try again.”
(I again walk her through the steps, trying not to get frustrated. I am 900 miles away, so I can’t just go and show her how.)
Mom: “Okay, I hit post. Go to his page and tell me if it worked.”
(I proceed to go to his page. I see two posts on his wall, and what do the say? ‘CLICK’.)
(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed.)
Boyfriend: “I’m going to love you forever. Even when we get old.”
Me: “Even when my boobs sag and touch the floor?”
Boyfriend: “We’ll get duct tape!”
(I am 2 years old, and my mother is trying to prepare me for the upcoming birth of my brother, who will be born shortly before my 3rd birthday.)
Mom: *testing me* “What’s Mommy going to bring home this summer?”
Me: *happily* “Cake!”
(We are now in our 30’s, and my brother swears I have never forgiven him for not being a cake.)
