Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 2

, , , , , | Romantic | December 18, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are talking one night.)

Me: “I love you!”

Boyfriend: “I love you, too!”

Me: “How much?”

Boyfriend: “The highest value a supercomputer can compute for a function with a vertical asymptote.”

Me: “Erm. Thanks?”

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Razor-Sharp Compliments

| Romantic | December 16, 2011

(I am female. My girlfriend rubs my leg lovingly.)

Girlfriend: “Your legs are like velvet.”

Me: “Aw, thanks!”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, if you rub it one way it’s all soft, but the other way it’s rough.”

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Putting Yourself Into A Tight Spot

| Romantic | December 16, 2011

(I am getting changed to go for a run, in preparation for a trip to Australia.)

Me: “See, this is why I have to go running. I was wearing these shorts last summer and now I can’t even get them over my thighs, let alone do up the button!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, but they were ridiculously tight anyway.”

(I just stare at him.)

Boyfriend: “What, no! You’re putting horrible words in my mouth! I never said that!”

(I continue to stare.)

Boyfriend: “I…uh…” *runs out of the room panicking*

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Off-Brand Humor

| Romantic | December 15, 2011

Husband: *tries to give me a hug* “We fit together perfectly. We’re like two Lego’s.”

Me: *pushing him away* “I’m tired. What do you want?”

Husband: “Never mind. You must be one of those off-brand Lego’s.”

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Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air

| Romantic | December 15, 2011

(I am talking with my boyfriend about the special occasion wine I got him for his birthday.)

Boyfriend: “One of these winter nights we’ll sit in front of the fireplace upstairs. Just the two of us.”

Me: “Aww!”

Boyfriend: “With this wine.”

Me: “And some treats?”

Boyfriend: “And some treats, and some music. *kisses me*

Me: “Aww!”

(He farts.)

Me: “Uugh!”

Boyfriend: “What? I can’t have you overflowing with romantic stuff! I had to bring you down a notch, for safety!”

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