One Ring To Forget Them All, And In The Dark Bedroom Remind Them

| Romantic | December 28, 2011

(My fiancée is in the habit of taking off her engagement ring when she does the dishes. She’s also in the habit of forgetting to put it back on. I’m in the kitchen grabbing a drink, and I see the ring on the counter. Once I’m in the bedroom, where she’s studying, I crawl onto the bed with the ring in hand.)

Me: “Will you marry me…again?”

Fiancée: *upset that she forgot the ring* “Oh, crap!”

Me: “Not the answer I was looking for.”

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One Mother To Rule Them All

| Related | December 27, 2011

(We are sitting around the dinner table eating as a family.)

Dad: *clearly thinking something* “I like… I like movies.”

Brother: “Okay?”

Dad: “I like movies… like Lord of the Rings.”

Mom: “Jim… no you don’t.”

Dad: *shrugging* “I know.”

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Might Be On A Bit Too Much Moonshine

| Related | December 26, 2011

(My mother is asking me about a time when I went back-packing through Australia for a year.)

Mom: “Does Australia get the moon down there?”

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Running Over Jokes Are Running Dry

, , | Romantic | December 26, 2011

(My Dad is telling me a joke.)

Dad: “Did you hear that a woman gets run over every 15 minutes?”

Me: “Really?”

Dad: “Yeah, she’s starting to get cheesed off.”

(I laugh. My mum enters the room, so my Dad tries his joke on her.)

Dad: “Hey, have you heard that a woman gets run over every 15 minutes?”

Mum: “She should get out of the bleeding road then!”

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Nailing The Right Gift

| Romantic | December 25, 2011

(It’s Christmas morning, and my boyfriend and I are exchanging gifts. We’ve been together for over 4 years at this point.)

Him: “Wait, there’s one more for you.”

Me: “Okay…”

(He reaches behind his back and gets down on a knee. I start tearing up.)

Him: “Here you go, a gift certificate for a mani/pedi. You deserve it!”

(A few years later and we’re still together…and I have excellent nails!)

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