At Least All The Options Are Out In The Open

| Romantic | November 16, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling in bed one night and discussing what kind of parents we’ll be.)

Boyfriend: “I’m going to be that dad that greets his daughter’s boyfriend with a shotgun.”

Me: “What if our daughter is a lesbian?”

Boyfriend: “Way to burst my bubble, hon.”

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Legging Yourself Out Of A Hole

| Romantic | November 15, 2011

(I am getting out of the shower, and my fiancé is combing his hair in front of the mirror.)

Me: “Ugh, it takes so long to shave my legs!”

Fiancé: “Yeah, you’ve got a lot of area to cover.”

Me: “…”

Fiancé: *panicked look* “I mean…your legs are big! I mean…long! You know what I mean!” *runs out of bathroom*

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Four Little Words

| Romantic | November 14, 2011

(I’m visiting with my grandparents. My grandpa is trying to open a bag of cookies, and accidentally rips it so they end up spilling all over the floor. Note that my grandmother doesn’t hear very well. )

Grandpa: “SON OF A B****!”

Grandma: *from the other room* “Charlie did you just call me?”

Grandpa: “Um, yeah…I said I love you!”

Grandma, to me: “Make sure you take notes from him. A girl loves to hear that from time to time!”

Grandpa and me: *laughing hysterically*

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This Buoy’s A Keeper

| Romantic | November 14, 2011

(Note: “bow” in this context refers to the front of a boat.)

Me: “I am firmly anchored to you.”

Girlfriend: “Does that mean I’m the bottom of the sea?”

Me: “Or a boat. Which would you rather be?”

Girlfriend: “I’m not a boat. What a rude thing to think of your girlfriend!”

Me: “You could be a luxury yacht…”

Girlfriend: “Big and expensive?”

Me: “Luxurious and with a large bow.”

Girlfriend: “Hmm, maybe. You seem to have talked your way out of that one. Congratulations.”

Me: “You should expect no less from your anchor.”

Girlfriend: “I love you more than any boat has ever loved an anchor!”

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I Mean What I Said (Or Slurred)

| Romantic | November 13, 2011

(My boyfriend and I were at a beer tasting the night before, and got a little tipsy because both of us were lightweights. As a result, we ended up saying “I love you” to each other for the first time. Flash forward to the next day.)

Me: “So you meant what you said last night?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I was horny and I was drunk. But I’d been wanting to say it for ages, so it seemed as good a time as any!”

Me: *laughing*

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