The Gift That Keeps On Dripping

| Romantic | November 17, 2011

(Note: My boyfriend enjoys teasing me playfully, especially about my weight. Sometimes, however, he goes a little far.)

Boyfriend: “Wow…watching you is like watching a plate of jello jiggle.”

Me: “Fine! You don’t have to see it then!”

(I storm out of the room, only for my boyfriend to chase after me. He catches up and hugs me close to him.)

Boyfriend: “You know I love you more than anything else in this world, right? ”

(He leans in and kisses me on the lips, but as he pulls away a huge loogie escapes from his mouth and lands on my face.)

Me: “Ugh! You just drooled on me!”

(He leans in close for another kiss. He has a serious look on his face.)

Boyfriend: “Shhhh…it’s a gift!”

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At Least All The Options Are Out In The Open

| Romantic | November 16, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling in bed one night and discussing what kind of parents we’ll be.)

Boyfriend: “I’m going to be that dad that greets his daughter’s boyfriend with a shotgun.”

Me: “What if our daughter is a lesbian?”

Boyfriend: “Way to burst my bubble, hon.”

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Legging Yourself Out Of A Hole

| Romantic | November 15, 2011

(I am getting out of the shower, and my fiancé is combing his hair in front of the mirror.)

Me: “Ugh, it takes so long to shave my legs!”

Fiancé: “Yeah, you’ve got a lot of area to cover.”

Me: “…”

Fiancé: *panicked look* “I mean…your legs are big! I mean…long! You know what I mean!” *runs out of bathroom*

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Four Little Words

| Romantic | November 14, 2011

(I’m visiting with my grandparents. My grandpa is trying to open a bag of cookies, and accidentally rips it so they end up spilling all over the floor. Note that my grandmother doesn’t hear very well. )

Grandpa: “SON OF A B****!”

Grandma: *from the other room* “Charlie did you just call me?”

Grandpa: “Um, yeah…I said I love you!”

Grandma, to me: “Make sure you take notes from him. A girl loves to hear that from time to time!”

Grandpa and me: *laughing hysterically*

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This Buoy’s A Keeper

| Romantic | November 14, 2011

(Note: “bow” in this context refers to the front of a boat.)

Me: “I am firmly anchored to you.”

Girlfriend: “Does that mean I’m the bottom of the sea?”

Me: “Or a boat. Which would you rather be?”

Girlfriend: “I’m not a boat. What a rude thing to think of your girlfriend!”

Me: “You could be a luxury yacht…”

Girlfriend: “Big and expensive?”

Me: “Luxurious and with a large bow.”

Girlfriend: “Hmm, maybe. You seem to have talked your way out of that one. Congratulations.”

Me: “You should expect no less from your anchor.”

Girlfriend: “I love you more than any boat has ever loved an anchor!”

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