Timing Is Off By A Few Degrees

| Related | April 4, 2012

(I am at my Auntie’s house for lunch. She has just had a new central heating system fitted, with a remote controlled temperature system. She is showing me the remote.)

Auntie: *pointing* “See, look there. It’s 215 degrees.”

Me: “Auntie, that says 2:15. And that’s the time!”

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He Forgot Hammer-Man

| Related | April 4, 2012

(I’m in my living room with my 5-year-old and 2-year-old sons. A friend of mine stops by, wearing an Avengers T-shirt.)

5-year-old son: “That’s Captain America and Black Widow and Iron Man and The Hulk!”

(My friend looks at my younger, 2-year-old son.)

Friend: “Can you name any?”

2-year-old son: “Nick Fury and Arrow-Guy.”

Friend: “Close enough.”

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That’s One Beast Of A Plot Hole

| Related | April 4, 2012

(My three-year-old daughter is watching ‘Beauty and the Beast’, when my husband suddenly pauses the movie.)

Daughter: “Hey! Daddy!”

Me: “Why’d you pause it?”

Husband: “I was just thinking…at the beginning, the guy said the rose would bloom until his 21st birthday. In the song, the candle says they’ve been enchanted for ten years. So, this prince was ten or eleven years old when he was changed into a beast. Seems a little unfair, don’t you think?”

Me: “I never really thought about it.”

Husband: “Also, how did the villagers not notice that their monarch had just kind of dropped off the face of the earth?”

Me: “You’re really over-analyzing this. It’s a movie directed at little kids.”

Husband: “But seriously, think about it!”

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Dating Amy Farrah-Fowler, Part 2

| Romantic | April 3, 2012

(My girlfriend and I are cuddling and talking about going away for the summer after I graduate.)

Me: “We should travel around Asia, because I’ve been to the U.S. and between the two of us we’ve seen most of Europe. We should visit all the countries in Asia, like China, Cambodia, Japan, Hong Kong…”

Girlfriend: “S.A.R.”

Me: “What?”

Girlfriend: “Special Administrative Region. Hong Kong isn’t a country, it’s a Special
Administrative Region of China, like Macau. Although it was under British control until 1997, and still has a separate political system from China. They do speak Chinese though. Well, Cantonese.”

(Long silence.)

Girlfriend: “Can we go get Chinese food now?”


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Return Of De Ting, Part 2

| Related | April 3, 2012

(I overhear a conversation going on between my mum who is in the study, and my sister who is in the kitchen.)

Sister: “Hey mum, can I have some of these squishy thingies?”

Mum: “What are these squishy thingies?”

Sister: “The round squishy thingies on the bench.”

Mum: “I don’t know what the squishy thingies are! Come here!”

Sister: “No! They are round and squishy and covered in little round things. You know what they are!”


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