Best Check The Fridge For Fava Beans

| Romantic | March 20, 2012

(My boyfriend has just come back from the bar, and is a bit tipsy. He snuggles up to me in bed.)

Boyfriend: “Mmm, your hair smells good.”

Me: “Thanks, hun.”

Boyfriend: “It makes me want to eat you.”

Me: “But, then I wouldn’t be here with you anymore.”

Boyfriend: “No, you would always be with me, forever, because I ate you!”

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Better Have A Big Fat Apology

| Romantic | March 20, 2012

Me: “I’m fat.”

Husband: “No, you’re not. You look good!”

Me: “But, I could look better!”

Husband: “I know.”

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Woman Brings Woe To Man

| Romantic | March 20, 2012

Husband: “I think the word wife is a combination of the words woe and life. Get it? Woe for life = wife!”

Me: *glaring*

Husband: “I don’t mean you; you’re great. I mean, in general.”

Me: *glaring*

Husband: “I guess you’re not the right audience for that joke. But, we are into the second year. I can say things like that now. Love you!”

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Home Is Where The Hurt Is

| Related | March 19, 2012

(My parents have been redoing the kitchen for about a year now, and I still find myself wondering where things go when I come home on the occasional weekend from school.)

Me: “Mom, where do you guys keep the measuring cups? I don’t remember.”

Mom: “Oh, don’t worry about forgetting. You don’t really live here.”

Me: “Wow, thanks, Mom. I feel so loved.”

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Older, Not Wiser

| Romantic | March 19, 2012

(My husband and I were born 5 days apart. Just after midnight, my husband comes up to me, and gives me a hug and kiss.)

Husband: “Happy birthday.”

Me: “Aw! Thank you! I lov—”

Husband: “You’re now a year older than me!”

(He happy dances off to the kitchen for a drink.)

Me: “You know that—”

Husband: “Shush! Let me enjoy these 5 days when I’m married to an ‘older woman’!”

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