This Buoy’s A Keeper

| Romantic | November 14, 2011

(Note: “bow” in this context refers to the front of a boat.)

Me: “I am firmly anchored to you.”

Girlfriend: “Does that mean I’m the bottom of the sea?”

Me: “Or a boat. Which would you rather be?”

Girlfriend: “I’m not a boat. What a rude thing to think of your girlfriend!”

Me: “You could be a luxury yacht…”

Girlfriend: “Big and expensive?”

Me: “Luxurious and with a large bow.”

Girlfriend: “Hmm, maybe. You seem to have talked your way out of that one. Congratulations.”

Me: “You should expect no less from your anchor.”

Girlfriend: “I love you more than any boat has ever loved an anchor!”

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I Mean What I Said (Or Slurred)

| Romantic | November 13, 2011

(My boyfriend and I were at a beer tasting the night before, and got a little tipsy because both of us were lightweights. As a result, we ended up saying “I love you” to each other for the first time. Flash forward to the next day.)

Me: “So you meant what you said last night?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I was horny and I was drunk. But I’d been wanting to say it for ages, so it seemed as good a time as any!”

Me: *laughing*

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Compliment Incompetent

| Romantic | November 11, 2011

(Note: I have brown eyes.)

Him: “I love your eyes.”

Me: “Aww…”

Him: “They’re like chocolate…”

Me: *squee*

Him: “Or mud…”

Me: *facepalm*

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Not All Fantasies Are Final

| Romantic | November 10, 2011

(This conversation happened while my then-girlfriend and I were dating. It was our third date, and somehow the conversation had come around to children.)

Girlfriend: “So, um, do you like kids?”

Me: “Sure do. I have 6 younger cousins, which I used to babysit during the summer.”

Girlfriend: “Aww, that’s cute. So, um, do you think you would ever have kids of your own someday?”

Me: *shrugs* “Yeah. Maybe. I’ve always thought it would be nice to have a little girl of my own.”

Girlfriend: “Really? You’ve always wanted a daughter? Me too.”

Me: “That’s cool. Let me guess…you have a name picked out already, don’t you?”

Wife: *shyly* “Yes…I picked it from Final Fantasy.”

Me: “Huh? Really? Let me guess…is it Aerith?”

(FYI, Aerith is a well-known female video game character from Final Fantasy VII.)

Girlfriend: “How’d you guess?”

Me: “I didn’t. I’ve always liked that name. I wouldn’t mind having a daughter with that name.”

Girlfriend: “That’s cute. Maybe if you’re lucky, that might happen.”

Me: “Maybe…”

(It’s five years later, and we’re married. My wife and I also have a little girl named Aerith!)

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Failure to Launch

| Romantic | November 10, 2011

(As I’m watching TV with my boyfriend, I notice that he seems to be in a bad mood.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Boyfriend: “I tried to seduce you a few minutes ago and you didn’t respond at all!”

Me: “You were trying to seduce me?”

Boyfriend: “Yes! I rubbed my foot against the back of your leg!”

Me: “That couldn’t have lasted more than three seconds! I thought your foot was asleep!”

(Unfortunately, this was a sign of things to come as we are no longer together.)

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