(My sister is looking at her supplemental health plan online.)
Sister: “Huh, it says psychotherapy is fully covered, but dental isn’t covered at all.”
Dad: “Well, tell them your dental health is due to your psychological health. Tell them you’ve started chewing on rugs, and it f***** up your teeth!”
(I am female. I am trying to get my parents to let me see the new ‘Iron Man’ movie.)
Me: “If you want, I could go with [Male Friend #1]?”
Mum: “I’m not so sure…”
Me: “I could always invite [Male Friend #2], and [Female Friend]?”
Mum: “Well, I suppose I could give you money, but you’d have to wait for the next pay-check.”
Me: “If only I had the same amount of dollars as I do rupees.”
Dad: “What?”
Me: “Rupees are the currency on a game called Legend of Zelda. They are easy to get, and I have lots of them.”
Mum: “I wonder… No, can’t be…”
Me: “What?”
Mum: “Nothing.”
(An ad for costumes then comes on the TV. A Star Trek uniform, complete with com-badge, is advertised.)
Me: “OOH! LOOK AT THAT! THAT IS SO COOL!”
Mum: “Yep, that confirms it.”
Mum And Dad: “Our daughter’s a geek.”
(Several decades ago, I got my behind kicked in an after school fight. I am a petite female, who was 12 years old at the time.)
Mom: “Remember when you got in that fight? [Mom’s friend] said she was driving past, and saw you running across a parking lot being chased by a mob of children.”
Me: “Why didn’t she pick me up?”
(My boyfriend and I are laying on the floor of my apartment. I am thinking; he is playing with one of my bobby pins. All of a sudden, he starts using it to trace on my forehead.)
Me: “Did you seriously just draw the Deathly Hallows on my forehead?”
Boyfriend: “Yes! And that is exactly why we are together, because you knew what I was drawing.”
(My sister suffers from exercise-induced anaphylaxis. It is a relatively rare condition that can cause her to break out in massive, full-body rashes if she physically exerts herself too much. A number of distant relatives have come to visit for Easter. Many of them don’t really know us ‘kids’ very well, and thus don’t know all of our peculiarities. This includes my sister’s condition. I’m washing the dishes we used during dinner, and my sister is keeping me company when our aunt comes in.)
Aunt: “[Sister], help your sister with the dishes.”
Me: “Oh, it’s no problem; I’ve got them.”
Aunt: “No! [Sister] has to do something as well.”
Me: “Auntie, no offense to you or [Sister], but I’d really rather she doesn’t. I’m a professional chef, and I can get kitchen work done quicker and easier without anyone else crowding me at the counter.”
Aunt: “Then one of you wash, and one of you dry.”
Me: “There’s a lot of dishes. The workload from a party this size could cause problems with her anaphylaxis.”
Aunt: “Pfft, she’s just lazy. That’s why she’s getting fat while you’re in such good shape. You girls used to both be so pretty.”
(My sister is sensitive about her weight, and runs from the kitchen holding back tears.)
Me: “God-d*** it Auntie! She’s not lazy; she has a rare condition which among other symptoms, could prove lethal if she exerts herself too much. [Sister] exercises regularly, and it’s a struggle, but she and I do our best to work out as much as possible without pushing her too far.”
Aunt: “But—”
Me: “No, no buts! She’s my sister, and I’m not going to put up with anyone insulting her, even family! I am not going to force her to do work that could cause her to break out in rashes, or worse, die. Now get out of my kitchen!”
(My aunt flees faster than I’ve ever seen her move. I’m able to quickly finish my work, and then go find my sister to soothe her emotions.)
This story is part of our Sisters’ Day roundup!
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