I Can See It All Over Your Face(book)

| Related | February 4, 2012

(I am trying to convince my mother to let me have a Facebook account. I am 4 years past the age requirement, and she is the only one stopping me.)

Me: *sits beside Mom on couch* “Hey Mom.”

Mom: *doesn’t even look up from book* “No.”

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At Least He Can Not Lie

| Romantic | February 4, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling on the couch, talking about our day.)

Boyfriend: “I heard a song that reminded me of you today.”

(I am smiling, as he never says anything like this, so it was quite a surprise.)

Me: “Babe, that’s so sweet. What was it?”

Boyfriend: “I Like Big Butts.”

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They Don’t Ignore The Elephant In The Room

| Related | February 3, 2012

(My father is holding me as a new-born baby me for the first time. My mom is still loopy on anaesthesia.)

Dad: “Oh, honey! Look! She has my ears!”

Mom: “Oh, good. Now she can fly through the air like an elephant!”

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Pronunciation Is Fowl

| Related | February 3, 2012

(My brother is 7 years old. We are arguing about how to spell ‘chicken’, which he insists is pronounced ‘ticken’.)

Brother: *runs up to dad* “Daddy, what does ‘ticken’ start with?”

Dad: *serious face* “An egg.”

Brother: “But it’s ‘ticken’!”

(Sending a golden opportunity, my boyfriend chimes in.)

Boyfriend: “It’s not ‘ticken’! It’s not a bomb!”

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Where Being Grounded Is An Extended Sentence

| Related | February 3, 2012

Me: “Dad, do you love me?”

Dad: “Of course I do.”

Me: “Why do you love me, then?”

Dad: “Because the law requires me to.”

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