Caught In A Recession Romance, Part 2

| Romantic | November 21, 2011

(My fiancé had proposed quite recently, so I am admiring my new engagement ring.)

Me: *sighing* “The ring is so beautiful. My fingers are so short and stubby, though.”

Him: “Yeah, I was kind of counting on that to make the ring look bigger.”

 

1 Thumbs
508

No Hopes For Gropes

| Romantic | November 19, 2011

(My new boyfriend and I are lying on the couch watching a movie. He and I are very ticklish, and somehow a tickle-war erupts. I discover he’s VERY ticklish on his pecs.)

Boyfriend: “So, I have a question…is your chest as ticklish as my pecs?”

Me: “You wish, but no.”

Boyfriend: “Damn.”

1 Thumbs
478

A Fart From The Heart

| Romantic | November 18, 2011

(Note: I am incredibly short.)

Him: “Hehe, midget…”

Me: “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

Him: “That’s what I say every time I talk about you!”

(He leans over and puts his head on my shoulder.)

Me: “I hope you didn’t come all the way over here for a kiss after that!”

Him: “But I love you! Also, I have a present for you.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Him: “Yeah!” *farts* “It might be a fart!”

Me: “Oh god, get off me!”

1 Thumbs
361

Till Like Do Us Part

| Romantic | November 18, 2011

(We’ve decided to do a low-key marriage, so we’ve hired a guy to do all of the legal paperwork at our home.)

Me: “I do.”

Hubby: “I do.”

(The paperwork guy gets all of the signatures and takes off. I open a bottle of Prosecco and serve it to our witnesses, and find that my new hubby has taken off.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Hubby: “I had to update my Facebook relationship status.”

(I tried to be angry, but it was kind of sweet!)

1 Thumbs
846

The Gift That Keeps On Dripping

| Romantic | November 17, 2011

(Note: My boyfriend enjoys teasing me playfully, especially about my weight. Sometimes, however, he goes a little far.)

Boyfriend: “Wow…watching you is like watching a plate of jello jiggle.”

Me: “Fine! You don’t have to see it then!”

(I storm out of the room, only for my boyfriend to chase after me. He catches up and hugs me close to him.)

Boyfriend: “You know I love you more than anything else in this world, right? ”

(He leans in and kisses me on the lips, but as he pulls away a huge loogie escapes from his mouth and lands on my face.)

Me: “Ugh! You just drooled on me!”

(He leans in close for another kiss. He has a serious look on his face.)

Boyfriend: “Shhhh…it’s a gift!”

1 Thumbs
293