(I’ve started talking to a girl who had recently broke up with her boyfriend of over a year. She has expressed interest in me, but said she needed time to get her feet on the ground. Several months after that conversation, we are sitting on a swing in her yard. She places her feet on ground to stop swinging, and smiles at me.)

Girl: “My feet are on the ground.”

Me: “Yes… Yes they are.”

(She is staring and smiling expectantly at me.)

Me: “I’m confused.”

Girl: “I said I needed to get my feet on the ground before. Well, they are now!”

Me: “Oh! So we’re, like, official then?”

Girl: “Yes!”

(I have recently received an internship. It runs during school days, so I’ve had to take off days from school. The last day of the internship starts at 3:30 pm, and school ends at 2 pm. Technically, I can still go to school that day.)

Me: “Hey, do I have to go to school on Wednesday?”

Mom: “Why?”

Me: “The internship isn’t until 3:30 pm, and school ends before that. Do I still have to go, though?”

Mom: “Do you want to?”

Me: “Well, no, I don’t want to, but I’ll go if I have to.”

Mom: “Well then, you can stay home if you want. Relax for a bit, and then go in for your internship.”

(I stare at my mom for a couple of seconds, and then hug tackle her.)

Mom: “OH GOD, WHEN DID YOU GET SO HEAVY?!”

Me: “YOU ARE THE COOLEST MOM EVER!”

Mom: “YOU’RE ABOUT TO KILL THE COOLEST MOM EVER; YOU’RE CRUSHING ME!”

(My family has always loved old Looney Tunes cartoons. We’re watching the TV as a family, and they mention seasons.)

Dad: “So, which season is it?”

Mum: “Duck season!”

Dad: “Rabbit season!”

Me: “FIRE!”

(My uncle makes a gun with his fingers, and points it at dad.)

Uncle: “BANG!”

Me: “I love that this family is coming to resemble the Looney Tunes…”

(I am sitting on my couch. My boyfriend is singing ‘I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts’ next to me.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts!”

Me: “No, you don’t.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Well, where do you keep them?”

Boyfriend: “…on your chest!”

(My mother-in-law phones up my husband.)

Mother-In-Law: “Do you have my recipe file?”

Son: “I don’t think we do; I haven’t seen it.”

Mother-In-Law: “Shoot! Well, if you can’t find it, you’d better give it to me for safe-keeping.”