Love Is On Paws

| Romantic | December 12, 2011

Him: “I want to see that tattoo on your back again.”

Me: “Well, since I don’t like wearing clothes to bed, you’ll see it later, won’t you?”

Him: *poking my cheek* “We should go to bed now.”

Me: “It’s 6 pm! I haven’t gone to bed that early in 15 years!”

Him: “It’s not like we’d be sleeping.”

(My cat jumps up into my lap and makes himself comfortable.)

Me: “You’ve been vetoed.”

Him: *to the cat* “Move, fuzzy!”

1 Thumbs
704

Dating Sheldon Cooper

| Romantic | December 12, 2011

(I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months and want to tell him how I am feeling. My boyfriend is doing a PhD in math and is extremely, painstakingly accurate about everything.)

Me: “You make me really happy. I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve been spending together. I feel really strongly about you.”

(My boyfriend nods and smiles. I wait expectantly for a response, but he just looks confused.)

Me: “Well? Don’t you feel the same as I do?”

Boyfriend: “No.”

Me: “What! Why not?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I feel analogously to what I perceive to be the way you feel. Since I am not you, and therefore cannot experience your feelings directly, I cannot say that I feel the same as you do because I can never know exactly how you feel. I feel that what I understand you to be describing as your experience is something that I agree with and relate to, but it would be inaccurate to say that I ‘feel the same’.”

1 Thumbs
2,102

Getting Between Man And His Best Friend

| Romantic | December 9, 2011

(I am browsing on my spartphone when my girlfriend approaches with a concerned look on her face.)

Her: “Babe, I’m sorry. I have to have this conversation. Your dog has got to go.”

Me: “What! Why?”

Her: “He doesn’t like me, he growls all the time. And he eats my very expensive shoes!”

Me: “No way! I love that Dog!”

Her: “And you don’t love me?”

Me: “Sure, but he costs me less!”

1 Thumbs
535

Love: The Final Frontier

| Romantic | December 8, 2011

(My boyfriend and I are courting via Skype. I am an ex-Trekkie. We are discussing what I last recall watching of DS9. He’s more of a Star Wars nerd, so I’m watching for when his eyes glazing over.)

Me: “I remember one season, there was a visitor to DS9. She really, really fancied Q and Odo, and caused all sorts of problems. I can’t remember who she was or the episode or the season.”

(I flail geekily.)

Boyfriend: *sigh* “Lwaxana Troi.”

(We pause, followed by a mutual silence.)

Me: “I think I just had a geekgasm. Thank you.”

Boyfriend: “Want to see my collection of Star Trek autobiographies? I even have Grace Lee Whitney’s!”

1 Thumbs
434

Not Quite A Dream Job

| Romantic | December 8, 2011

(It is Sunday morning, after Black Friday. I have been working retail all weekend and I am worn out to the max.)

Me: “I had some crazy dreams.”

Boyfriend: “Apparently, you were checking people out.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “You woke me up, and said ‘Your total is $34.98. Do you have any coupons?'”

Me: “Oh my God, no way!”

Boyfriend: “I shook you so you’d wake up a little and dream about something else. I just knew I couldn’t let you dream that.”

1 Thumbs
1,490