A Very Tech Supportive Outcome

| Pittsburg, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I’ve gotten a new computer and am having troubles with the speakers so I call tech support. While on hold I’m fiddling with the computer. The tech support girl comes on right as I realize the problem.)

Me: “No! NOOO!”

Tech Support: *sounding alarmed* “Ma’am?”

Me: “Right as you picked up, I realized what the problem is… The plugs are in the wrong jacks.”

Tech Support: *laughing* “I see. Is there anything else I CAN’T help you with today?”

Me: “Maybe you could send somebody over to help me pick my dignity off the floor…”

Tech Support: *chuckling* “Sorry, ma’am. That’s not covered, unfortunately.”

That Last Customer Was An Odd Fish

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

(I get home from work and my fiancé has just finished up his shift, too.)

Me: “Hi! How was your day?”

Fiancé: “Well, the last customer that I spoke with today told me that if I didn’t tell him exactly what he wanted to hear that he would find out where I lived, fly to me, find a fish, and gently slap me with it.”

Me: “Well, we live in Florida, so at least you’d know the fish was fresh!”

Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind

| Lebanon, TN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a pizza place that is within walking distance of my house. Our house number and the number for the restaurant are identical except that two numbers were swapped, so occasionally people accidentally call my house number. It is a Sunday, which is the one day the restaurant is closed.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yes, hi. Can I get two large pepperoni–”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, you have the wrong number. [Restaurant] is clo-”

Caller: “No, this is [restaurant]! I recognize your voice! Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “I’m sure you do, because I work there. But this is my house number, and it’s my day off because [restaurant] is closed today. If you call the right number–”

Caller: “No, you’re not closed today! Now put in my f***ing order!”

(I hang up on the guy because I do not like his attitude. He calls again, and I answer, this time with my dad listening in from the other room.)

Caller: “You hung up on me!”

Me: “Yes sir, I did. You have the wrong number, and the restaurant is closed.

Caller: “Get me the owner! I’m having you fired!”

Me: “Sir, he does not live with me and therefore I cannot.”

Caller: “You stupid b****! Who the f*** do you think you are!?”

(The guy starts screaming obscenities. My dad has been listening in and has had enough.)

Dad: “Sir, if you’ve got a problem, you’re going to have to deal with me!”

Caller: “Is this the manager?! Great! I want–”

Dad: “No, this is her father. This is a private residence and I don’t want you calling here again. And if you have a problem with that, I want you to say it to my face.”

Caller: “Fine! I’ll be right there!” *click*

(The guy drives out to the restaurant, where my dad decides to wait for him outside. My father is 6’6″ and weighs nearly 300 lbs. I see the guy pull up to see my dad and the closed sign right behind where he is standing. His face turns completely white and he jumps back in his car and speeds off. When I go back to work the next day, the guy comes in for an order. He leaves a note of apology and a $20 tip in the tip jar.)