Doesn’t Have The Backbone For Real Cuddles

| Davie, FL, USA | Romantic | March 19, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are cuddling, and have become somewhat entangled.)

Boyfriend: “It’s like earthworm love!”

(Affronted, I draw back.)

Boyfriend: “You know, because they entwine themselves.”

Me: “You could hardly have said something that would make me feel less cuddly.”

Boyfriend: “I’m sorry! I love you!” *pause* “You’re way hotter than an earthworm, anyway!”

Older, Not Wiser

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Romantic | March 19, 2012

(My husband and I were born 5 days apart. Just after midnight, my husband comes up to me, and gives me a hug and kiss.)

Husband: “Happy birthday.”

Me: “Aw! Thank you! I lov—”

Husband: “You’re now a year older than me!”

(He happy dances off to the kitchen for a drink.)

Me: “You know that—”

Husband: “Shush! Let me enjoy these 5 days when I’m married to an ‘older woman’!”

Return Of De Ting

| New Zealand | Related | March 19, 2012

(My mum comes home one night a little more tired than usual. She needs my help in the kitchen.)

Mum: “Can you please put the thing in the thing?”

Me: “Which thing?”

Mum: “You know, the big thing. The black one.”

Me: “This thing?” *holds up pan*

Mum: “No, no. The other one.”

Me: “Is it this thing?” *holds up wok*

Mum: “Argh, why don’t you understand? It’s the thing, the thing!”

(This goes on for quite some time until eventually I work out that she means one of the cooking pots, and I hold it up.)

Me: “This is the thing you’re talking about?”

Mum: “Yes! Yes, THAT thing!”

Me: “Mum, you’ve really got to be more specific when you talk about things.”

 

Great Minds Think, Like, Alike

| San Jose, CA, USA | Romantic | March 19, 2012

(My boyfriend and I mostly relax by watching TV on my laptop.)

Me: “Oh, there’s a new show we can watch.”

Boyfriend: “What’s it about?”

Me: “There’s like a guy, and he does things, like, and then stuff happens?”

Boyfriend: “You mean Awake?”

Me: “YES! Whoa, how did you figure that out? You can follow my crazy brain?!”

Home Is Where The Hurt Is

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Related | March 19, 2012

(My parents have been redoing the kitchen for about a year now, and I still find myself wondering where things go when I come home on the occasional weekend from school.)

Me: “Mom, where do you guys keep the measuring cups? I don’t remember.”

Mom: “Oh, don’t worry about forgetting. You don’t really live here.”

Me: “Wow, thanks, Mom. I feel so loved.”

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