Not Enough Love Is A Sign Of The Times

| UT, USA | Related | March 8, 2012

(My sister is trying to teach my two-year-old nephew some basic American Sign Language (ASL). He uses words like ‘please’ and ‘banana’ mostly, but I applaud the effort. I, meanwhile, am a 31-year-old who is trying to become conversational in ASL.)

Me: *to my nephew* “Do you know how to say ‘I love you?’”

Nephew: “No.”

Me: “Here.”

(I show him the I, L, Y sign that is shorthand for I love you. He can’t do it.)

Sister: “What day is it?”

Nephew: “SUNDAY!”

Me: *also signing* “No, it’s not Sunday. It’s…”

(I do the sign for Friday, which is the letter f moved in a circle.)

Nephew: *after a long, confused pause* “I love you, too?”

Totally, Like, Avada Kedavra

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Romantic | March 8, 2012

(We have just finished dinner at my husband’s parent’s house. I am randomly poking and tickling him. He is giggling and fighting me off. He suddenly raises his hand and waves it at me.)

Husband: “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

Me: *gasps in shock* “Did… did you just use the killing curse against me?”

Husband: “I was desperate.”

His father: “Don’t use killing curses against your wife.”

Related
Totally, Like, Sectumsempra
(from NotAlwaysRight):
Totally, Like, Aguamenti
Totally, Like, Excruciatus

Existential Parental

| Doncaster, England, UK | Related | March 8, 2012

Mum: “You know, I can’t remember what life was like before you were born. It feels like you’ve always been here.”

Me: “I know. It does, doesn’t it?”

Makes Scents In The End

| WI, USA | Romantic | March 8, 2012

(My fiancée is feeling really sick.)

Fiancée: “I don’t feel so good, I think I’m going to go to bed.”

Me: “That’s probably a good idea. That stomach bug has been going around a lot recently. You should take it easy.”

(I give her a hug and notice that she has the ‘sick’ smell that people sometimes get when they’re ill.)

Me: “Good night, sleep well, and try to smell better.”

Fiancée: “I…what?”

Me:Feel better. I meant feel!”

Fiancée: “That’ll probably be funnier when I’m not feeling like crap.”

Floats Like A Baggins, Stings Like A Gamgee

| London, England, UK | Related | March 7, 2012

(I am flicking through the TV channels with my Mum.)

Me: “Hey, mum. Lord Of The Rings is on! Want to watch it?”

Mum: “No, you know I don’t like films about boxing.”

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