They Only Know The Bare Minimum

| Learning | November 2, 2015

(I am in finance class:)

Me: “How I curb my spending is realizing it takes me three hours to make $20 after tax.”

Classmate: *in disbelief* “How come?!”

Me: “I make minimum wage. I work two jobs because it still isn’t enough.”

Classmate: “Why don’t you just get a better paying one instead of working two minimum wage jobs?”

Me: *tries not to roll my eyes into the back of my head*

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The Teacher Becomes The Student

| Learning | February 23, 2015

(I teach science to junior and senior high students in a home school co-op. Some of the kids have been to public school previously. We are learning about organelles of cells.)

Me: “[Student #1], where do you think that organelle would be on the diagram?”

Student #1: “Wait, I know this. I should remember it because I learned this in my science class in public school. Wait, sorry. I don’t remember. My science teacher was pretty awesome; I just think I was not a very good student.”

Me: “Does anyone here want to make that declaration for me?”

Student #2: “My science teacher was not a very good student!”

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That Exam Was Easy Pee-sy

| Learning | October 30, 2013

(I very seldom meet the students I work with, as most of our conversations are on the phone and they work from home. I am calling one student to let them know about their exam score…)

Me: “So you must be pretty happy that you did so well on that exam, hey?”

Student: “Oh yeah! I’m actually still relieving myself right now!”

(I erupt into laughter.)

Student: “Oh s***! That’s not what I meant! I’m not doing that right now!”

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Little Sister, Big Statement

| Related | July 26, 2013

(I’m a lesbian, and a lot older than my siblings. I am 22, and my sister is 11. Before this, I hadn’t had a reason for explaining the whole sexual orientation thing to her, though my family is open and I’ve never been in any closet. On a Sunday, I do the whole explanation, and tell her that she might want to think about whether she wants to tell her friends, as some can get mean about it. The next day, my little sister is at school, and the teacher asks the students about their weekends. My sister rises and speaks up.)

Sister: “My sister is a lesbian, which means she likes girls, and if you’re gonna be mean about it, you can kiss my a**!”

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