This Conversation Is Going Down The Drain

, , , , , , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I am working with a customer to find a drain that will fit his custom-made sink. It’s going slowly, but smoothly enough.)

Me: “Okay, I have found one that will work. What finish will you need it in?”

Customer: “One that will match my faucet.”

Me: “Okay, what color is your faucet?”

Customer: “Brown-ish.”

Me: “Um, okay. So… oil-rubbed bronze? A dark brown?”

Customer: “No… Like a light brown.”

Me: “Do you know the brand? That might help narrow this down so that we get a matching drain for you.”

Customer: “Um… I don’t know. I think it starts with a ‘D’ or something.”

(I manage to narrow down the brands and find the color.)

Me: “Well, I will have to order the drain in that color, but I am positive this is the right one. It should be here in the next two to four days. Will that be all right?”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “What does what mean?”

Customer: “Order.”

Me: “Well, sometimes we don’t have the right thing in stock. We have to reach out to the manufacture and have them send one to us.”

Customer: “So, you don’t make these things?”

Me: “No, sir. Each brand is in charge of making their products. We are in charge of selling them.”

Customer: “Well, how lazy! You should make them!”

Me: “We are not a brand. We are a home improvement store. If we made all the brands, they would just be one big brand.”

Customer: “That does not even make sense! All these things are made by some big corporation!”

Me: “I can assure you that is not the case. This brand is made in Indiana, this one in California, several are made overseas in Japan or China, and I have a few that are made in Mexico. And that is just in faucets.”

Customer: “Whatever. Order that part, since you don’t want to make me one.”

Me: “Okay, we can do that! I will need at least a half payment down. That would be $25. A ten dollar handling charge will be added when the part comes in.”

Customer: “You don’t need money down! Just order it!”

Me: “I am afraid I cannot do that. Money is put down to ensure that the ordered part will be fully purchased after it comes in.”

Customer: “What if I decide I don’t want it?”

Me: “Then you pay the handling free, but the rest of the money will be refunded.”

Customer: “You would keep part of my money?”

Me: “The item costs money to be ordered; therefore, the handling fee money stays with the store. It’s like a shipping fee when you order something online.”

Customer: “That is such a lie! Why are you trying to take my money?”

Me: “I can promise no one is trying to take your money. All you have to do is put half down, and then pick up the item when it comes in, with the other half of the money.”

Customer: “And I would get the handling free back?”

Me: “No. That is part of the total price of the item.”

Customer: “I want a manager!”

(My manager comes over after a minute or two of awkward silence.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes, this lady is trying to swindle me! She refused to make me a drain, lied to me about where this stuff is made, and is now trying to swindle me with fees!”

Manager: “So, what you are really saying is that she found what you needed, but we are out of stock, and you have to order this part with a standard handling fee?”

Customer: “Yes! Just go to the back and make me a drain!”

Manager: “I am sure it’s been explained to you that each brand makes its own parts? Each brand is unique with coloring, style, and manufacturing process.” *customer tightly nods* “I cannot go to the back and magically make one out of a pallet. Now, would you like to order the part you need, or do I have to escort you out for accusing my employee of theft?”

(The customer threw down $25 dollars and stormed out. We ordered the part, but since the customer stormed out, we never got into contact information. Two weeks later:)

Customer: “WHERE IS MY DRAIN?”

Manager: *who saw him come in* “We ordered it, but since you left without giving us any contact information, we had no way of informing you. If you would like to pay the remaining balance, I will happily send my associate to get it from the back.”

Customer: “This is such terrible customer service. You just didn’t want to call me!”

Manager: “I am supposed to know how to call you when you left no name, number, or any sort of identification to get a hold of you?”
Customer: “Yes!”


Do you hate bad behavior? Show the world how you feel by stopping by our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Manufacturers’ Suggested Retail Conspiracy

, , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I’m working at an appliance store and get this call:)

Customer: “Hey, do you carry the trim kit for these microwaves?”

Me: “Yes, sir, do you know which one you need?”

Customer: *gives the model number*

Me: “Yes, we have that one in stock for [price].”

Customer: “What?! That’s the price everyone is selling it at. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!

Will Be Cashing Yourself Out

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(I am having trouble finding an item in the hardware store. I don’t see an employee around, so I go up front to ask the cashiers of they can help me find one of their coworkers. Both cashiers are female.)

Me: *what I’m thinking* “I know that cashiers aren’t usually allowed to leave the front, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

Me: *what I actually say* “I know you’re just cashiers, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

(I am so sorry! I’m sure that you are very capable! Thank you for helping me anyway!)

The Bulb Isn’t The Only Dull Thing Around Here

, , , , , | Working | October 12, 2017

(I’m at a home improvement store looking for a replacement light bulb. I’ve checked online, where it lists the area the item will be in, but it lists it as an aisle higher than the highest aisle number that actually exists in the store. I’ve just managed to find an employee in the department to help me.)

Me: “Hi, I have this fluorescent bulb that I’m looking for a replacement for, but in a different color temperature. I can’t seem to find—”

([Worker #1] holds his hand out to stop me from talking, signing that he is deaf. I nod and bring out the previous bulb, which I’ve brought with me to recycle, and show it to him. The worker nods back at me, and begins to show me the way.)

Worker #2: *suddenly popping out of nowhere* “Oh, let me help you!”

Me: “But—” *being physically blocked by her while [Worker#1] rounds the corner*

Worker #2: “You need to write things down and show them to him, he’s deaf.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but he already knew what I needed.”

Worker #2: “Yes, but he’s deaf.”

Me: “I know…” *sighing* “Look, do you know where these fluorescent bulbs are?”

(I show her the bulb. She begins to take me to an area where I have already been searching for about 15 minutes.)

Me: “I’ve already been here, and to the next three aisles. It wasn’t here.”

Worker#2: *awkwardly* “This actually isn’t my department. It was his.”

([Worker#1], who had clearly been searching for me, spotted me and motioned for me to follow him again. I found the bulb in less than a minute, and in the new color temperature I wanted. I’m not sure why [Worker #2] intervened in the first place. This store doesn’t work on commission, and it was [Worker #1]’s department, and we didn’t have any apparent communication issues, even though he was deaf!)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 29

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(I’m picking up some wall paper samples. I’m in my own little world so don’t notice another customer stride up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Excuse me!

Me: “Oh, right. Sorry.”

(I move close to the shelves to let her pass.)

Customer: *sighs heavily* “Where are the paper glues?”

Me: “The what?”

Customer: “The paper glues, for putting up wallpaper!”

Me: “Oh, the wallpaper paste. I think I saw them on the end of the aisle.”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Thank you!”

(I shake it off, collect all the samples I want, and prepare to leave. I reach the end of the aisle and see the customer again.)

Customer: *to me* “I can’t see them; where are they?”

Me: “There: the little bags. The ones that say ‘wallpaper paste.’”

Customer:I know that. Which one do I want?”

(I have had about enough; she has been nothing but rude and I have been nothing but patient so far.)

Me: “Look, lady: what does it say on my shirt?”

Customer: “Don’t you speak to me th—”

Me: “What… does… it.. say… on.. my… shirt?”

Customer: “Well, I… it says [Large Engineering Company].”

Me: “So, not [Store]?!”

Customer: *looks at me blankly*

Me: “You are one of the rudest people I have ever met. Why don’t you learn some manners, or better yet, f*** off?!”

Customer: *the colour drains from her face* “That’s it. I’m getting a manager and getting you fired!”

(She storms off, and I stick around to see what happens. A few minutes later she returns with a manager and a smug look on her face.)

Manager: “Er, I’ve had a complaint about one of my workers?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be me, apparently. I told her that I worked for [Engineering Company], but the old battle-axe wouldn’t listen. She has been incredibly rude and condescending this whole time. Frankly, if this is the treatment your staff get, I would give them a raise.”

Customer: *fuming* “Are you going to let him speak to me that way? This little s*** wouldn’t help me at all, and the other guy, the [racial slur], wouldn’t even listen to me.”

Manager: *to her* “I’m too busy to deal with your petty nonsense. If I hear you harassing any of my other customers, I will personally ban you from this store.”

Customer: “But, but… I need my paper-glue!”

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