Renovating Their Bedroom (Habits)

, | Burnaby, BC, Canada | Romantic | November 22, 2015

(I am the only female employee (but also the most knowledgeable) in the tool department. Over the past two weeks a middle aged couple has come in several times for help with a home improvement project. After our first interaction they were so impressed with me they would seek me out, ignoring other associates altogether. This was the third time I have seen them this week and they have waited patiently for 10 minutes while I finish up with another customer.)

Me: “Hi! How are you two today? How’s the bathroom reno going?”

Female Customer: “Oh, just great, thanks to you! We would be so behind if we hadn’t had your help!”

Male Customer: “That’s right; you’re such a sweet girl. We wanted to ask you one last thing.”

Me: “Okay. Do you need a recommendation for a plumber like we talked about?”

(They look at each other and smile.)

Female Customer: “Actually, it’s been so nice getting to know you we were wondering if you would be interested in joining us in the bedroom.”

Me: *sure I misunderstood the request* “Um, you mean you’d like to make some improvements to your bedroom next?”

Male Customer: *laughs* “No, dear. We’d like to have a threesome with you. Or a foursome if your partner would like to join us, as well.”

(I stand there in complete stunned silence for a moment.)

Female Customer: *to her husband* “I told you this was a bad idea. We’ve scared her half to death.” *to me* “I’m so sorry, dear. I hope this doesn’t change the way you see us. It’s just so difficult to find people you get along with and trust!”

(At that point I just walked away, unable to think of any kind of response to such an inappropriate request. They left right away and I never saw them again, thank the stars!)

This Is Not A Drill

| Grand Island, NE, USA | Right | November 11, 2015

(I’m at the service desk, finishing a battery replacement for a regular customer’s hearing aids. We’re having our normal chit chat; he loves talking about his grandkids. A woman enters, comes to the desk, and starts complaining immediately.)

Woman: “I don’t have this kind of time! Why are you doing his job? I need service.”

Me: “We always offer battery replacement.” *as I say this, I finish the replacements* “Okay, sir, you’re good to go! I’ll let [Cashier] know you’ve paid already. Have a nice night.”

Man: “Thank you. You get everything done so nicely.” *he heads out*

Woman: “Finally! My drill is broken. I want my replacement.”

Me: “Okay, let me see the drill and we can go from there.”

(She slams a drill from another chain onto the desk; it has a smashed battery pack.)

Woman: “There! It’s broken.”

Me: “This drill isn’t from here, and—”

Woman: “F****** liar! I want your manager!”

Me: *sees manager walking over due to her fuss* “Sure. Hey, [Manager], this customer wants to speak to you.”

Woman: “This b**** won’t replace my drill! I can’t use that one to hammer nails into concrete now.”

Manager: “Say what?”

Woman: “I need to hammer nails into my basement walls. This drill broke. How is that hard to understand? Give me my replacement!”

Manager: “First, that’s not a drill we sell. Second, our replacement guarantee only applies when the tool is used properly. It’s not a hammer, so it’s broken from misuse. Even if it was ours, we wouldn’t process a replacement.”

Woman: “How the f*** am I supposed to know I can’t use this as a hammer?! I’ll go get my own free replacement!”

Manager: “Okay. I’ll call the police.”

Woman: “F*** you! I ain’t violating my parole for you!” *she storms out*

Cashier: *over radio* “Um. Did that really just happen?”

(Two hours later, she returns with a drill now spray painted yellow. The cashier immediately gets the manager.)

Woman: “See! This is your drill! Give me my f****** replacement, you c***!” *slams drill and paint covered hand on counter*

Manager: “It still says [Brand] and the paint is coming off on your hand. Leave now; you’re now prohibited from coming in.”

Woman: “You can’t prove who I am.”

Manager: “Cameras are above you. Your fingerprints are on the counter. You have unique tattoos. You’re on parole. Pretty sure we can track you.”

(Customer ran out, and hasn’t returned.)

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Too Late For That Lightbulb Moment

| Canada | Right | November 5, 2015

(A customer comes to the returns desk and slams down a doorknob.)

Customer: *rudely* “I would like to return this light bulb.”

Me: *pause* “Do you have the light bulb or did you mean this doorknob here?”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and says* “I meant to say doorknob, obviously”.

(All I could think was “I hope you didn’t think this was a light bulb that didn’t work.” Either way, it made my day!)

Won’t Be Tricked Out Of His Treat

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 21, 2015

(I am shopping with my parents at a home improvement store during the Halloween season. There is a skeleton on display that has candy on it.)

Dad: *reaches for candy*

Mom: “Don’t take that! It’s for display!”

Dad: “It looks like samples to me.”

(We head to the cash registers to make a purchase. A woman who appears to be the manager is with the cashier.)

Dad: “Just curious, is the candy on the Halloween display free?”

Manager: “I would expect…”

Dad: *to Mom* “Ha! I told you!”

Mom: “You gonna go back and get some?”

Dad: “Nah.”

Manager: “I’ll go get you some.”

(The manager actually goes and gets us some candy.)

Dad: “Thank you!”

Giving Them A Shrinking Feeling

| Dallas, TX, USA | Working | October 20, 2015

(I am remodeling my home and have spent about $3000 at this particular big-box home improvement store. I go to buy some expensive electrical wire and some new saw blades, among other things. There is a sign over the blades that says, “Carbide Blades: Buy one, get one free,” so I decide to get two. As I’m being checked out, I see that the blades aren’t ringing up at the sale price.)

Me: “Excuse me, but those are supposed to be buy one, get one free.”

Young Associate: “Hmm, they’re not ringing up that way. Let me get a manager.”

(An older manager approaches.)

Manager: “These are ringing up properly.”

Me: “I’m sorry but they’re not. There was a sign over them that said carbide blades are buy one, get one free, and these are carbide blades.”

Manager: *clearly not believing me* “Oh, yeah? Let’s go look, then.”

(We walk over to the sign.)

Me: “You see? It says so right there.”

Manager: “Uh, well… the sale is only on the blades that are pictured on the sign.”

Me: “It doesn’t say that anywhere. It just says carbide blades.”

Manager: *raising his voice* “I don’t care what it doesn’t say. It’s only on those pictured blades!”

Me: “I’d like to speak to a store manager, please.”

(Ultimately, the store manager gives me the discounted price on the blades, and the manager completes my checkout, grumbling the whole time.)

Manager: “People like you are what causes shrinkage…”

Me: “Yeah, OK, whatever. Has nothing to do with your inaccurate signage or anything…”

(I leave the store. About halfway home, I start to think about the total price of my purchases, and how it seemed much lower than I expected. I check the receipt, and realize that my electrical wire isn’t on it. I return to the store with the wire, and the manager is still in the checkout area.)

Me: “Yeah, hi, remember me? I’m the one who causes shrinkage? You forgot to charge me for this $75 dollar wire.”

Manager: *gapes at me*

Me: “I’d like to pay for it now, please.”

(He didn’t say a thing through the transaction.)

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