H2-Slow, Part 9

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One early morning I answer the calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you carried dehydrated water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, dehydrated water?”

Customer: “Yes, dehydrated water.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean distilled water?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “No, I definitely mean dehydrated water.”

Me: “Sir, to dehydrate something is to remove the moisture. If you remove moisture from water, you get air.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind!”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 8
H2Slow, Part 7
H2Slow, Part 6

Can’t Let Your Hair Down With Some Customers

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I grow out my hair for cancer and everyone I know from work has only ever seen me with long hair as I was still growing it. I finally got it cut again and was working down at lumber where we get a lot of contractors that come in often and who I have gotten to know really well.)

Contractor #1: “Oh! [My Name], what did you do with your beautiful long red hair! It is so short now!”

Me: “I cut it for Locks of Love. I have been doing it for years, though I never cut it this short before. I like it; it takes so much less time to take care of.” *laughing* “But don’t worry, it will grow back out soon.”

Contractor #1: *very serious look on his face* “I certainly hope so! How will you ever get a guy when you look like a [offensive term for lesbian]? You ruined yourself. You just look so bad with short hair. No guy will try to date you now!”

Me: *I am completely taken aback and speechless as he grabs his stuff and leaves*

(Behind him is another contractor I know very well.)

Contractor #2: “I don’t know much about hair, but I for one think you look great with short hair and I think you did a wonderful thing donating it a child with cancer. Promise you won’t let some jack-a** make you feel bad about what a fantastic thing you did for someone in need!”

Me: “I promise and thank you.”

(We fist bumped and I had to keep thanking him as he left the store.)

A Reversal Of Fortune

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Transportation

(I’m on a Landscape Lighting service call with another one of our technicians. We’re going back to a recent install to add more lights along the driveway. Talking to the client, we get more info on what he’s looking for.)

Client: “Yeah, I’d like more lights along the driveway so I can see to reverse my car at night.”

Service Tech: “That’s not a problem. We can have them added and running in a couple hours.”

Client: “Thanks, it’ll make a big difference. I like to think I’m better at reversing. I find it so much easier.”

(We get to work and the client leaves while we’re working. Note, we’ve parked our van in his driveway. We finish up and are sitting in the van filling in the paperwork.)

Me: “So, we put in four of the—”

(There is a loud thud as the van jolts.)

Client: *coming up to the driver’s window* “Sorry, I just backed into your van…”