(I work for a “heavy haulers” trash company. We pick up the big stuff the normal guys can’t, like furniture, dressers, and more. In our area there’s a bad bed-bug epidemic, so everyone is required to at least double-wrap the furniture. A woman calls us asking for a date to pick up a couch.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. What do you need?”

Caller: “I’ve got a couch I need to throw away. When can you get it?”

Me: Our next pick up date is Wednesday. All furniture must be at least double-wrapped or we will not take it.”

Caller: “Why?”

Me: “There is a bed bug epidemic in our area and we have to be careful.”

Caller: “But I don’t have bed bugs.”

Me: “That doesn’t matter if you do or don’t. Regulation says all furniture must be double-wrapped”

Caller: “This is bullshit! You’re making me pay extra for wrap for no reason!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but all furniture must be double-wrapped.”

Caller: But I don’t have f****** bed bugs!”

Me: That doesn’t matter. All furniture must be double-wrapped, or we can’t take it. No exceptions.”

Caller: *enraged* “WHAT? YOU THINK I LIVE IN SOME F****** PIG STY?”

Me: “I never said that ma’am, I’m sure you have a lovely home. But as per order all furniture must be double-wrapped.”

(She nearly slammed her phone down, judging from what I heard after ending the conversation with a reluctant “Fine!” and her address. When we went to collect the couch from her alley we saw a wrapping job that looked like she had a seizure when doing it. And while putting it on the truck my partner saw three bed bugs under the wrapper.)

My friend walks into my family’s house.

Friend: “Oh! Did you re-decorate?”

Me: “No, we cleaned up.”

(I am a cashier at a popular hardware store. A sweet-looking old woman who looks to be in her 60s comes to my checkout lane with a variety of items, two of which are scotch tape and a yardstick.)

Me: *begins to check out items* “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything alright?”

Customer: “Well, now that you mention it, I do have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Do you know what a measurer is?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, my son knew I was running up to the hardware store and said that he needs a tape measurer. I got the tape, but do you think he means this for the measurer?” *points to yardstick*

(At this point, I am trying very hard not to laugh. However, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that that was definitely not what her son meant.)

Me: “I think your son will be fine with whatever you get him. Have a great day!”

(The old woman, who looked satisfied, walked out the door with her items. A man came to the store the next day to return some tape and a yardstick, saying something about his mother being confused! It certainly made my day!)

(I’m the bad employee in this situation. I work as a cashier at a home retail store, and one of the services that we offer during the summer months is a check-out till in our outdoor lumber run. Naturally, this building doesn’t get cleaned a lot, so in a few minutes of downtime, I’m wiping down the windows. A customer comes up behind me.)

Me: *seeing the customer* “Oh, hello. One moment, please.”

Customer: “Not a problem. It looks like you were on a mission there.”

(I put down my cleaning supplies, and turn to assist the customer.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need to buy 30 bags of concrete.”

Me: “All right. We don’t have the codes at the register, so I’ve just got to walk down and scan it.”

Customer: “Not a problem.”

(I enter the quantity into the system, and then walk down to the concrete. Confidently, I reach out — and promptly spray window cleaner on the concrete. Looking down, I burst out laughing. I’d grabbed the cleaner instead of my scanner.)

Me: “Oh. I grabbed the wrong product by accident. If you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll get you rung through.”

Customer: “Don’t worry. It looks like it’s been a long day for you. Besides, it made my day.”

I work in a home improvement store that has a store points card and a store credit card. We had just opened a new location and therefore have a lot of new staff who aren’t as experienced at catching scammers.

Two days in a row a man has come in and bought an expensive grill with a fake credit card. However, because of how we process payments this isn’t brought to our attention until the next day when the accounting department notices several big purchases did not go through. However the third day we are already on alert and because of our security cameras we know what he looks like and thankfully, one of the senior staff members has the pleasure of interacting with him.

She immediately becomes suspicious when the man starts asking about the same model of grill that has been stolen. While she pretends to look up information on the grill she actually looks for his picture in our company email and identifies him.

She doesn’t want to scare him away or give him time to leave by calling the police so instead she sells him the grill…

… and the company credit card.

She convinces him to open a card and so he willingly fills in an application with his full name, address, social, etc.

After he leaves she contacts the police, gives them all the information including the CCTV footage, and reports from the account about the credit card charges.

The guy is caught at his house with tens of thousands of dollars with of stolen items (not just from our store) and a bunch of fake credit cards.