A Reversal Of Fortune

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Transportation

(I’m on a Landscape Lighting service call with another one of our technicians. We’re going back to a recent install to add more lights along the driveway. Talking to the client, we get more info on what he’s looking for.)

Client: “Yeah, I’d like more lights along the driveway so I can see to reverse my car at night.”

Service Tech: “That’s not a problem. We can have them added and running in a couple hours.”

Client: “Thanks, it’ll make a big difference. I like to think I’m better at reversing. I find it so much easier.”

(We get to work and the client leaves while we’re working. Note, we’ve parked our van in his driveway. We finish up and are sitting in the van filling in the paperwork.)

Me: “So, we put in four of the—”

(There is a loud thud as the van jolts.)

Client: *coming up to the driver’s window* “Sorry, I just backed into your van…”

Works With Different Fibres

| Finland | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(During a day off, I get a phone call.)

Me: “[My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller], about [some renovation project]…”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Caller: “…Isn’t this [Plumber]?”

Me: “No, this is a private number.”

Caller: “Well, do you by any chance do plumbing for living or something like that?”

Me: “Telecom engineer, so different kind of pipes. Sorry.” *click*

Refunder Blunder, Part 15

, | Olympia, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Home Improvement

(I work the return desk at a home improvement store that’s going out of business. We stop accepting returns unless the item was purchased prior to liquidation, and there are signs posted everywhere stating all sales are final. An elderly gentleman walks up to the desk with an item return.)

Me: *checking receipt* “I see this is a purchase made after the liquidation process started. I’m afraid all sales are final.”

Customer: *sputtering* “Well, you should have signs posted warning people!”

(I show him where the signs are.)

Customer: “THOSE weren’t there when I bought this!”

Me: “They have been there over a month.

Customer: “Well, you should print it on the receipts, so people don’t waste time!”

(I take out his receipt and show him the text.)


Refunder Blunder, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 13
Refunder Blunder, Part 12

Not Quite Feeling This Request

, | Madison, WI, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(An artistic, elaborately dressed woman wanders in and is standing by the paint samples in a melodramatic stance. I wander over.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: *gives me a withering look and says* “I’m looking for Bittersweet.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound like one of our colors, but I can look it up in the database and see if we can match it.”

Customer: “No… I’m looking for a color that invokes the feeling of bittersweet.”

(I stand dumbfounded for a second.)

Me: “So… is that like an orange or something?”

A Slight Scratch In His Story

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a large home improvement store. I am taking a call from a customer in our appliance section.)

Customer: “My toilet is scratched!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. Did we install it for you?”

Customer: “No, a plumber did. But it was not scratched when he put it in!”

Me: “What do you mean it was not scratched when he put it in?”

Customer: “I cleaned it and then all these scratches showed up!”

Me: “Uhm, what did you clean it with?”

Customer: “Bleach!”

Me: “Well, a lot of brands say not to soak in bleach because it takes off the glaze that helps the bowl stay clean. How long did it soak for?”

Customer: “Overnight!”

Me: “Well, sir, bleach is highly corrosive, and-”

Customer: “I expect a full refund!”

Me: “Sir, if the damage is caused by the customer, we cannot refund.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! It was not scratched when I bought it!”

Me: “That’s the point.”

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