Won’t Be Tricked Out Of His Treat

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am shopping with my parents at a home improvement store during the Halloween season. There is a skeleton on display that has candy on it.)

Dad: *reaches for candy*

Mom: “Don’t take that! It’s for display!”

Dad: “It looks like samples to me.”

(We head to the cash registers to make a purchase. A woman who appears to be the manager is with the cashier.)

Dad: “Just curious, is the candy on the Halloween display free?”

Manager: “I would expect…”

Dad: *to Mom* “Ha! I told you!”

Mom: “You gonna go back and get some?”

Dad: “Nah.”

Manager: “I’ll go get you some.”

(The manager actually goes and gets us some candy.)

Dad: “Thank you!”

H2-Slow, Part 9

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One early morning I answer the calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you carried dehydrated water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, dehydrated water?”

Customer: “Yes, dehydrated water.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean distilled water?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “No, I definitely mean dehydrated water.”

Me: “Sir, to dehydrate something is to remove the moisture. If you remove moisture from water, you get air.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind!”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 8
H2Slow, Part 7
H2Slow, Part 6

Can’t Let Your Hair Down With Some Customers

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I grow out my hair for cancer and everyone I know from work has only ever seen me with long hair as I was still growing it. I finally got it cut again and was working down at lumber where we get a lot of contractors that come in often and who I have gotten to know really well.)

Contractor #1: “Oh! [My Name], what did you do with your beautiful long red hair! It is so short now!”

Me: “I cut it for Locks of Love. I have been doing it for years, though I never cut it this short before. I like it; it takes so much less time to take care of.” *laughing* “But don’t worry, it will grow back out soon.”

Contractor #1: *very serious look on his face* “I certainly hope so! How will you ever get a guy when you look like a [offensive term for lesbian]? You ruined yourself. You just look so bad with short hair. No guy will try to date you now!”

Me: *I am completely taken aback and speechless as he grabs his stuff and leaves*

(Behind him is another contractor I know very well.)

Contractor #2: “I don’t know much about hair, but I for one think you look great with short hair and I think you did a wonderful thing donating it a child with cancer. Promise you won’t let some jack-a** make you feel bad about what a fantastic thing you did for someone in need!”

Me: “I promise and thank you.”

(We fist bumped and I had to keep thanking him as he left the store.)